A philosophical description of family life
Although from the perspective of a self-realized soul marriage may be frowned upon, for someone in a lower spiritual status, marriage is a progression because it can help us to get out of sinful life
A philosophical description of family life
In the Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam, there is the description of the allegory of King Purañjana, the story of each conditioned soul entering into the body and becoming entrapped in material life. There it is described:
“Being thus entangled in different types of mental concoction and engaged in fruitive activities, King Purañjana came completely under the control of material intelligence and was thus cheated. Indeed, he used to fulfill all the desires of his wife, the Queen.” (SB 4.25.56)
In the allegory, Purañjana (the soul) becomes attracted to the woman representing the material intelligence. This represents the living entity becoming attracted by the possibilities of sense gratification offered by it. Prabhupāda explains it perfectly in his purport to text 36:
“The living entity comes down into this material world for sense gratification, and his intelligence, represented by the woman, gives him the proper direction by which he can satisfy his senses to their best capacity. In actuality, however, intelligence comes from the Supersoul, or the Supreme Personality of Godhead, and He gives full facility to the living entity who has come down to this material world.”
Often, it is thought that the soul may fall from the spiritual world directly to this material world, but this is an incorrect idea. There is no influence of the material energy in the spiritual world, and thus no possibility of a soul becoming attracted to material enjoyment there. However, if the soul, due to free will, becomes somehow averse to the service of Krsna, one is removed from this spiritual atmosphere and is eventually placed in a borderline position in the causal ocean. From there, without access to spiritual bliss, one can become attracted to the glitter of the material creation and thus come here in search of material enjoyment, as described by Prabhupāda.
When this happens, the soul receives the material intelligence as a tool to satisfy his material desires and, hopefully, eventually comes to understand the shortcomings of material enjoyment and search for spiritual knowledge. The intelligence is given to us by the Supersoul, and when we start inquiring about transcendental knowledge, it is also the Supersoul who gives us spiritual realization. In this way, the Supersoul slowly guides us back to our original position.
“O killer of the enemy, you have somehow or other come here. This is certainly great fortune for me. I wish all auspicious things for you. You have a great desire to satisfy your senses, and all my friends and I shall try our best in all respects to fulfill your desires. My dear lord, I have just arranged this city of nine gates for you so that you can have all kinds of sense gratification. You may live here for one hundred years, and everything for your sense gratification will be supplied.” (SB 4.25.36-37)
The intelligence guides the mind, which in turn controls the senses, giving the living entity the possibility of enjoying this world. However, even though the body is put at our disposal, the body is still Kṛṣṇa’s property and should be used in His service. The human body is given to us as an opportunity to develop our Kṛṣṇa Consciousness, or at least lead a pious life according to the prescriptions of the scriptures. If instead we just use it for our own purposes, we have to deal with the karmic reactions.
Apart from the description of the relationship of the soul and the intelligence, the allegory also describes one’s external actions, acting in the material world. From text 4.25.38 to 4.25.40, the girl offers arguments to Purañjana in favor of family life:
“How can I expect to unite with others, who are neither conversant about sex nor capable of knowing how to enjoy life while living or after death? Such foolish persons are like animals because they do not know the process of sense enjoyment in this life and after death. The woman continued: In this material world, a householder’s life brings all kinds of happiness in religion, economic development, sense gratification and the begetting of children, sons and grandsons. After that, one may desire liberation as well as material reputation. The householder can appreciate the results of sacrifices, which enable him to gain promotion to superior planetary systems. All this material happiness is practically unknown to the transcendentalists. They cannot even imagine such happiness. According to authorities, the householder life is pleasing not only to oneself but to all the forefathers, demigods, great sages, saintly persons and everyone else. A householder life is thus beneficial.” (SB 4.25.38-40)
We may think that these instructions are just untruths to convince Purañjana to get involved with her, but there are no untruths in Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam; all verses are significant. Even when great demons such as Kaṁsa or Hiraṇyakaśipu speak, they reveal some important truth.
Although from the perspective of a self-realized soul, marriage may be frowned upon, for someone in a lower spiritual status, marriage is a progression because it can help one to get out of sinful life. As long as one is sinful, there is no question of properly advancing on the spiritual path. Karmis often use family life as simply a concession for material enjoyment, but even that is better than a promiscuous life. As Prabhupāda explains in his purport to text 4.25.39:
“Pravṛtti-mārga maintains that even though one has the propensity for sense gratification, he can gratify his senses according to the directions of the Vedic injunctions. For example, everyone has the propensity for sex life, but in demoniac civilization sex is enjoyed without restriction. According to Vedic culture, sex is enjoyed under Vedic instructions. Thus the Vedas give direction to civilized human beings to enable them to satisfy their propensities for sense gratification.”
When we come to devotional life, marriage can fulfill its purpose in offering a foundation for one’s spiritual practice. A successful marriage isn’t in itself the goal of life, but it can be a step in this direction, allowing one to practice in a safer environment, partially protected from the onslaught of illicit material desires, and gradually progress to a platform of genuine renunciation.
In his purports in this section, Prabhupāda draws a clear distinction between the gṛhastha, who uses his family life as a foundation for his spiritual life, and the gṛhamedhi, who becomes blinded by material enjoyment. This is a path that must be avoided, as he explains in the same purport:
“Although the gṛhastha desires sense gratification, he acts according to Vedic instructions. The gṛhamedhī, however, who is interested only in sense gratification, does not follow any Vedic instruction. The gṛhamedhī engages himself as an advocate of sex life and also allows his sons and daughters to engage in sex and to be deprived of any glorious end in life. A gṛhastha enjoys sex life in this life as well as in the next, but a gṛhamedhī does not know what the next life is about because he is simply interested in sex in this life. On the whole, when one is too much inclined toward sex, he does not care for the transcendental spiritual life.”
Family life brings many obligations to the family, demigods, ancestors, etc., but the supreme duty for everyone is to surrender to the Lord and worship Him in devotional service. One who can fulfill this highest dharma, taking shelter in the lotus feet of the Lord, becomes free of other obligations.
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Very insightful! Thank you CCDas ji