Why associating with other devotees is so difficult?

Association with other devotees is the most basic and essential aspect of spiritual life, but it can also be one of the most difficult.

It's mentioned in the scriptures that sadhu-sanga is the most important factor in the development of love for Krsna. Our spiritual path starts when we meet devotees, and our devotion to Krsna is nourished by their association. Association with other devotees is the most basic and essential aspect of spiritual life, but it can be at the same time one of the most difficult.

It can be quite hard to go along with other devotees, especially when there is some pressing service that needs to be performed and pressure sets in. The potential problems include clashes between egos, differences of opinions, disagreements about what should be done, fights for position, and so on. Why is it so that the most important factor for our spiritual development is also the most difficult to maintain?

It's hard because it's connected with the false ego, the most subtle part of our material conditioning.

False ego means wanting to lord over material nature and accept an identity different from our eternal identity as eternal servants of Krsna. It means to desire to be the master instead of the servant. The bigger our false ego is, the more difficult it is to associate with others who are in a higher or similar position, and the more propense we will be to exploit others who are junior to us. We can easily see how this weakens the very basis of our spiritual association and can lead to all kinds of negative effects.

In the spiritual world, everyone cooperates in Krsna's service. Everyone lives together peacefully and there is no malice. There is very little space for one who wants to control things since all the controlling posts are already occupied by Krsna and His expansions. That's the place where there is already a master and all available positions are for servants. As long as one can't accept the fact that he is an eternal servant and not an eternal master, he has to remain in this material world. One may even go all the way up to the impersonal brahmajyoti and back, but he will not be able to enter the spiritual planets.

When we understand this point, we can start to realize why association with other devotees is so essential in our spiritual lives: it is not only essential for our spiritual advancement but is the very test of such advancement. We can see practically that many (maybe even the majority) of devotees in our movement abandon or slack their spiritual practice after a few years. The decisive moment in most of these cases is when they decide to leave the association of other devotees and practice spiritual life on their own. From this point, their spiritual progress usually stagnates.

When one decides that he or she is too great to associate with other devotees, it's definitely a bad sign. This means one is failing the most important test. One may be part of this group or that group, but it's essential to find a sanga of like-minded devotees and learn to serve Krsna together with them.

One mistake we often commit is to think we have to associate the devotees of a certain group, no matter what, and all relationship problems that may appear are our fault. While in some cases it may be so, in others, it may be just due to being too different. Devotees have different moods and preferences in their spiritual practice, and while we should respect everyone, we must understand that certain combinations are easier than others, and in some cases, we may just not fit into a particular group. In this case, we need to expand our horizons and try to find a group of devotees of similar mentality, that can inspire us in our spiritual practice.

If such a group is not available where one lives, he may go to another place, or even move between different places in the course of his life, but finding it should be a priority since so much in our spiritual lives depends on it. It's worth sacrificing some material comfort and accepting some difficulties to achieve that.

One secret I learned in all these years trying to practice Krsna Consciousness, however, is that it becomes much easier to associate with other devotees when we see the good they do, instead of the bad. Everyone in this material world shows a mixture of good and bad, according to the influence of material modes one is subjected to. Everyone does bad to a certain extent, but everyone also does good to a certain extent. If we focus on the bad, association with others will be always problematic. If we focus on the good, however, most people will look quite nice and it will be a joy to associate with them. We will then be able to cultivate the deep relationships that are essential for our spiritual progress, have a blissful life, and go back to Godhead in the end.

What are your impressions on this topic? Write in the comments, we would like to hear from you.