Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future: The story of Bilvamaṅgala Thākura

The story of Bilvamaṅgala Thākura, the great ācārya who became self-realized after receiving instructions from a prostitute, is at the same time tragic, beautiful, inspiring, and uplifting.

The story of Bilvamaṅgala Thākura, the great ācārya who became self-realized after receiving instructions from a prostitute, is at the same time tragic, beautiful, inspiring, and uplifting.

He was born in a pious Brahmana family and received a good education, but he suffered from strong lustful desires. Because of this, he got involved with a prostitute called Cintamani, meeting her regularly and using money from his inheritance to buy her expensive gifts.

He became so attached to their regular meetings that even at the funeral of his father, he couldn't contain himself. He engaged some Brahmanas in doing the necessary rituals and left for her house, which was outside the city, on the other side of the river. That day, however, the weather was not on his side. There was a very strong storm, and there was a flood in the Ganges. Despite this, he was so determined that he decided to swim across the river (something extremely dangerous even in regular days, what to say during a storm), up to the point of using a dead body to stay afloat.

After crossing the river, he came to the closed gates of the house, since Cintamani was not expecting he would come with such weather. He tried to use a vine to jump over the wall, but when he caught it, he saw it was actually a snake! Still, he was so determined that he used the snake as a rope to jump the wall, despite all danger.

Finally, he knocked at the house, all wet, bloody, and dirty. Understanding what happened, Cintamani said to him that if he had the same determination he had to touch her body to worship Krsna, he would easily go back to Godhead. Although working as a prostitute due to her life circumstances, Cintamani was a devotee and could examine situations like that from a spiritual standpoint. While externally accepting the gifts and money offered by Bilvamaṅgala, internally, she understood how unfortunate it was that he was wasting his life for mere sexual enjoyment, when he could better use his determination and other assets to serve Krsna.

Her simple words carried a lot of weight. These were not just her words, but the words of the Supersoul, who empowered her to say exactly what was needed, and at the exact time to provoke a change in the heart of Bilvamaṅgala. He suddenly became determined in spiritual life and decided to abandon his sinful life and go to Vṛndāvana.

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However, his lusty desires still disturbed him. On the way, he became attracted to one lady, then to another. His eyes were just going everywhere. Once he stayed as a guest in the house of a Brahmana who had a young wife. He became strongly attracted to her. The lady told her husband that this pilgrim was following her, and the husband came to him. Bilvamaṅgala shamelessly confessed that he had such strong lust, and because of that, he became attracted to his wife. Instead of becoming angry, the Brahmana conceded and told his wife to sleep with him. The simple lady somehow agreed.

She dressed and put on her jewelry and prepared to meet Bilvamaṅgala, but when he finally saw her, he had a change of heart. He asked for her hairpins and used them to blind himself. He understood that he was committing so many sins because of his eyes and decided he would be better without them.

This passage is difficult to understand, but it makes more sense when we examine the results. Later, Bilvamaṅgala Thakura composed songs revealing how his spiritual master came to him in the form of Cintamani to reveal to him the right path. This reveals how the episode was not just a coincidence, but was inspired by the Supersoul, who wanted to show special mercy and free him from material bondage.

Similarly, this event with the Brahmana and his wife should be seen in the same light. Somehow, the Lord inspired this Brahmana to have an extremely liberal reading of the rules of hospitality, and also his wife to behave the way she did, all to create the situation that would make Bilvamaṅgala finally free from lust, and put him on the path that would bring him to perfection.

What happened to him after that?

He somehow or other was able to continue his trip and eventually reach Vṛndāvana. He just sat under a tree and started chanting very attentively. Without his eyes, there were no distractions, and he was finally able to serve Krsna without falling.

Observing his extraordinary determination, Krsna started coming personally to him to bring him milk every day, and due to His association, Bilvamaṅgala very quickly attained love for Godhead. Later, he wrote the Krsna Karnamrta, an extremely beautiful book, where he shares his realizations.

In this book, he thanks his siksa-guru, Cintamani, who, although a prostitute, was a devotee of Krsna and was able to bring him back to the path with her timely words.

The first question one may ask is how Cintamani could be a prostitute since she was a devotee. The point is that a person in any situation of life can become a devotee; this has more to do with his or her attitude to Krsna than anything else. In previous times, it was relatively common for widows and unmarried ladies without other means of subsistence to associate with men outside of marriage in search of someone who would maintain them, and because of this, they would be called prostitutes in the rigid societies of the time. Back then, this term didn't always have the same meaning it has today.

The second question is how Bilvamaṅgala Thākura could become so determined in spiritual life, having such a sinful nature. This is explained by his previous birth:

In his previous life, he was a brahmana who had a desire to build a temple for Krsna. At some point, a princess died, and the body was cremated with a lot of jewelry on it. No one took the jewels from the burned body, and he thought it was such a waste. By selling this jewelry, he could get money to build the temple. When he finally decided to take the jewels, he heard a voice: Please, don't take these jewels.

He looked around and could not see anyone. It was the voice of the princess who passed away. She told him she had more jewels in a chest at the palace, and he could take them in exchange for not taking the ones left at the body. He went to the palace and explained everything to the king, who allowed him to take the chest with the jewels.

He sold the jewels and started building the temple, but the money was not sufficient to finish it. He again thought of the jewels in the body and went there to take them. This time, the princess cursed him to become a sinful person in his next life. That's how he became Bilvamaṅgala and had such a lusty nature, although being born into a family of brahmanas.

However, due to his past devotional service, Krsna remembered him through Cintamani, so he could continue his service and finally go back to Godhead. That's something we should keep close to our hearts: we may pray for the mercy of Krsna, but His mercy always comes through the Vaishnavas. Without the association of Vaishnavas, there is no way for us to receive the mercy of Krsna.

Another lesson we can take from this is that most of us were practicing Krsna Consciousness in previous lives, and that's why we became attracted now. However, taking birth in Kali-yuga, we are now battling with our sinful minds. We may fall one time, two times, three times, until we also become serious in spiritual life and somehow gather the determination to curb our senses and dedicate our lives to serving Krsna. Of course, the example of Bilvamaṅgala Thākura is extreme. That's not something we should imitate, but it gives the idea of how determined we should be. By worshiping Krsna in His deity form and being firmly engaged in devotional service, preaching, and chanting, we can lose the attraction to the objects of the senses. This is the process of becoming "blind" to the material world without having to destroy one's eyes.

Another point we can learn from this story is that every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future. We all committed sins in the past, and we may even fall down from time to time. However, Krsna does not see the bad: he sees only the good. That's the reason we can be pardoned for our previous mistakes and can come back to the practice of devotional service. In the same way Krsna forgives us, we should also forgive others, understanding that they have the same difficulty in controlling their senses that we have.

Every saint has a past, every sinner has a future…

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