Is it Maya to become a parent?
Being a parent in Krsna Consciousness can be a little confusing. On the one hand, there is this small kid who appears to be one's child, but on the other the understanding we are not the body.
Being a father or mother in Krsna Consciousness can be a little confusing. On the one hand, there is this small child who appears as our son and gradually grows and develops his intelligence and personality. At the same time, we philosophically understand that the soul is eternal and nobody is actually anyone's son, since we are all eternal parts and parcels of Krsna.
In the 6th canto of Srimad Bhagavatam, we have the story of King Citraketu, who first could not conceive a son, and was eventually blessed to have a son who would give him great jubilation but also great lamentation. The great jubilation was the joy of being a parent and enjoying the company of the child, and the great lamentation was the toddler's premature death.
Seeing the great lamentation of the king with the untimely death of his son, Narada Muni called the soul to reenter the body for a short time. However, now, the soul was not tied by the illusion connected with the body and spoke from the true perspective of an eternal being. He said:
"According to the results of my fruitive activities, I, the living being, transmigrate from one body to another, sometimes going to the species of the demigods, sometimes to the species of lower animals, sometimes among the vegetables, and sometimes to the human species. Therefore, in which birth were these my mother and father? No one is actually my mother and father. How can I accept these two people as my parents?" (SB 6.16.4)
Similarly, when the son of Srvasa Pandita died during a kirtana, Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu also called the soul back to his body:
“Why did you leave your father’s house?” To everyone’s surprise, the supposedly dead child opened his eyes, sat down, and started speaking: “My Lord I am Your eternal servant. And wherever You send me, that’s where I want to be. By the power of destiny and by the power of Your mercy I was allowed to live all these days in the auspicious home of Srivas. But now by the power of your will, my destiny is to move to another body. Who is my relative? Who is my father? Who is my Mother? When the time comes the soul must depart from the body. Now my Lord I beg You, please forgive me for any offenses I may have made and grant me the boon that wherever You send me I may have the association of Your devotees. With Your permission, I will now go.”
Reading such passages, how can one accept someone as one’s son or daughter? Why should we become parents in the first place? Is this not supposed to be just an illusion?
This is certainly a question that torments many devotees; however, I found that once one becomes a parent, it becomes much easier to understand it.
In one sense, seeing oneself as the father or mother of someone is an illusion because the soul is eternal. Being a parent means just creating a new body where this eternal soul can live for some time. To be attached to the small body of the child and the enjoyment it gives to the parents is certainly an illusion. That's how mundane parents live under the veil of Maya. However, being a parent in Krsna Consciousness offers a different perspective.
Instead of seeing oneself as the creator, maintainer, and proprietor of his child, a Krsna Conscious parent sees himself as someone offering service.
Being a parent in Krsna Consciousness is about serving a devotee that Krsna chooses to send to be part of our family. One may think that serving Vaishnavas outside is "service" while serving Vaishnavas who take birth in our family, "Maya", but I don't share this vision. If anything, Srila Prabhupada used to say that "charity starts at home".
The basic difference between a human being and an animal is that a human being has the capacity of understanding Krsna, but we often fail to understand how much work it takes to produce a proper human body, with a proper mental disposition and proper impressions that can allow a soul to have a realistic opportunity of going back home, back to Goodhead.
There are cases of animals who become Krsna Conscious and go back to Godhead, like in the case of the elephant Gajendra, but it's not very common to see horses with japa beads around, since horses are busy eating, sleeping, mating, and defending. When we speak about human beings, however, the possibility is much better.
The problem is that when we speak about "human body", we are not speaking just about the physical body, with two hands and two legs, but especially about the mind and intelligence, the main tools that a soul uses to understand the world and understand Krsna.
Most children nowadays are born into quite dysfunctional families and go through a lot of abuse before even reaching their teenage years. After this, it often becomes worse, with all the sex, drugs, rock and roll, and useless scrolling that are involved in a typical young adult's life in most parts of the world nowadays.
As a result, when one becomes an adult, the intelligence is so spoiled and the mind so polluted by sinful impressions that it is very difficult for one to become attracted to the service of Krana, what to say about properly following the principles of devotional service. Although one technically has a human body, this body is so spoiled that the chances of going back to godhead in this life become very remote. One may have a car, but if the car is not in good condition, one may not go very far in it.
Most of us know cases of devotees who are sincere in spiritual life but can't go forward because of bad habits, addictions, and sinful material desires. We may be in this position ourselves. Most of it is because of the impressions we accumulated in our previous years.
To grow a child in Krsna Consciousness means to give a devotee a chance to properly develop his body and mind since the beginning, impressing the proper impressions in the mind and creating the conditions that may allow this soul to continue on the spiritual path without impediments and eventually go back home, back to Godhead. Some may call it "Maya", but I see it as an important service that not many are willing to do nowadays.
When our movement started, the way to make devotees was to go to the street and distribute books. Nowadays, this possibility is still there, of course, but as society becomes more sinful, the potential diminishes, since people become more degraded and have progressively more difficulties in following the spiritual path. As time goes on, I believe we will be seeing fewer serious devotees coming from the outside and more appearing as second and third-generation devotees. The role of parents in Krsna Consciousness will become progressively more important for the future of our movement.
When Lord Rshabadeva says that "One who cannot deliver his dependents from the path of repeated birth and death should never become a spiritual master, a father, a husband, a mother or a worshipable demigod." it doesn't mean that one should not become a parent, but conversely, that one should properly educate his children so they have a realistic chance of going back to Godhead. Verses like this are not meant to make us renounce our duties and go to the forest, but on the contrary, teach us how to properly accept responsibilities in Krsna Consciousness and practice what Krsna teaches us in the Bhagavad-Gita, doing it without attachment and as a service to the Lord.
As in other services, there is a lot of joy involved, and when we do it with the proper consciousness, the result will always be positive in one way or another, since Krsna will be pleased with our service. If, however, we neglect our service, putting other personal goals ahead of it, the conclusion may not be so nice.
Read also:
If you read this article to the end, give it a like. This makes Substack recommend it to more people. If you can’t contribute in other ways, you can contribute by just doing that.
If you have questions, use the comments; I will answer as possible. They may even become the topic for another article. Your thoughts and opinions are also very welcome. ⤵️
Hare Krishna Prabhuji. I can not explain how beautiful this article is.I also used to think like this , but you explained so many concepts and issues so wonderfully.Thank you .Jaya Srila Prabhupad.