Moral policing: When rules replace devotion

Moral policing is often used to control the personal behavior in the name of protecting purity or spiritual principles, often resulting in quite toxic environments that can destroy devotion and sanity

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All types of organized societies have certain rules that members are supposed to follow. It is very difficult to imagine any kind of organized group or community that could function without any type of rules. Religious organizations and communities are no different. There is, however, a difference in the scope and purpose of these rules.

In secular society, rules have the main goal of maintaining general order, and they include relatively simple norms, such as not killing or stealing, paying taxes, following traffic rules, etc. These rules usually don’t regulate the intimate details of daily life too much. Religious groups, however, often have more elaborate sets of rules that affect people’s lives more directly, determining how they behave, what they eat, how they dress, and even their sexual lives.

In our movement, for example, we have rules about what we can eat. Meat, fish, and eggs are prohibited, as well as garlic, onions, and a list of other ingredients. Some want to add even carrots and other seemingly innocent vegetables to it. Apart from that, we have an even more restrictive list for Ekadasis, and other rules for appearance days and other important dates.

We also have rules for dressing. Ladies are supposed to use modest clothes, like saris or dresses when coming to the temple, while men are expected to use dhotis or other types of clothes that fit the devotional environment, especially while worshiping, lecturing, etc. There are rules in terms of behavior, especially in dealings between men and women, rules for dealing with seniors, rules for eating (we are not supposed to use the left hand, for example), and so on, without even getting into the rules about sexual life. Some even try to compile books describing all the rules and etiquette we are expected to follow, works that often become quite voluminous.

On the one hand, rules are important to teach us what to avoid in order to facilitate our spiritual progress, and also to regulate behavior so our society can function. There is, however, a negative side to rules that, depending on how they are applied, can make the environment in our groups and communities quite toxic and judgmental, impacting relationships, trust, mental health, etc.

This is a topic discussed nowadays in journalistic and academic circles as moral policing: attempts by individuals, groups, or institutions to control the personal behavior of others, often in the name of protecting purity or spiritual principles. This is also connected to what is studied in psychology as religious scrupulosity, or spiritual perfectionism.

How does it work?

All processes of moral or spiritual training are based on changing behavior. In Krsna Consciousness, especially, we try to progress from passion and ignorance into goodness, which requires a complete change of paradigm. The problem is when this is enforced through criticism, shaming, exclusion, or even coercion, instead of genuine spiritual guidance. Different from proper spiritual instruction, this works, in practice, more as a form of harassment or abuse.

When moral policing becomes strong, groups begin to feel more like cults, where members follow a unified code of dress, behavior, and practices, and the ones who fail to comply are excluded. The mood changes from compassion to judgment, from mercy to harshness, from trying to help others advance to pushing them down.

This phenomenon can be observed in many religious movements, such as in the culture of guilt that permeates certain strands of Catholicism, the rigid rules in many Islamic groups, and so on. As expected, we also have our share in our movement, as many of us may have experienced. This single factor has the potency to turn spiritual practice upside down, creating toxic and judgmental environments instead of Vaikuṇṭha embassies, as they are meant to be. When this happens, Krsna Consciousness becomes more like an empty shell, where the external practices are still there, but the sweet pulp is somehow lost.

What is the cause of this phenomenon? What makes followers become attached to following sets of rules and policing others instead of improving their spiritual practice?

The point is that, at the beginning and even in an intermediate stage, it is difficult to measure our progress. Even if we are genuinely progressing, it is very difficult to quantify it, since we are not seeing Krsna yet. Rules, on the other hand, are something that can be easily quantified; it is easy to count how many rules I’m following and to what extent. Similarly, it is difficult to understand how well others are progressing, but it is easy to judge how strictly they are following the rules. If at this stage someone tells me that my spiritual progress and my value as a devotee are measured by how strictly I follow the rules, I may very well accept it and start judging others by the same standard.

Advanced devotees have a broader understanding of the spiritual process. They can balance rules and regulations with deep spiritual nourishment, and thus help their followers develop in a healthy way, getting a necessary taste for discipline, while at the same time learning to remain flexible and compassionate in their practice, both with others and themselves. By progressing, we connect with the mood of joyful devotion taught by Śrīla Prabhupāda, develop a higher taste, and gradually lose attraction for base material things. At this stage, most of the rules become natural, and we go deeper into our spiritual practice. Joyful is the keyword here, contrasting with the anxious, rule-based mood.

Less prepared teachers, however, often don’t see much beyond rules and regulations. As a result, they tend to overemphasize them, often using them as a substitute for the blissful mood of service and devotion that is absent.

This top-heavy approach tends to attract vulnerable individuals, those who are not properly grounded, who may have low self-esteem, who seek external structure and approval, and so on. The combination of an immature leader and vulnerable followers can easily lead to authoritarianism, envy, rivalry, cognitive dissonance, and many other unhealthy symptoms. Outwardly, the group may look “very strict” and “very serious,” but inwardly, many members may be full of fear, shame, and resentment; an anxious, rule-heavy custodial facility where devotees monitor each other’s behavior and shame those who don’t fit the mold. Personal struggles are treated as moral failures, shaming replaces support, and social pressure, access to services, and association enforce conformity and ensure control. Instead of nourishing, such a group can easily convert itself into a grinder, where sincere seekers are psychologically and spiritually destroyed. A system that sets us up for failure instead of success.

Even more tragic is when the leader himself is not able to maintain the standards set and falls into a double life, maintaining an external facade while secretly engaging in questionable acts. This, in time, leads to scandals that cause even more harm. Moral policing often hides such double lives because image becomes more important than honesty.

The problem is that, counterproductive as it may seem, the more serious we are about spiritual practice and the more anxious we are to advance, the more we tend to become attached to rules and judge others on how well they are following them. The further we go on this path, the harder it becomes to admit the mistake and change. It may take many years for us to get past this stage, unless we can find an experienced teacher who can help us identify and transcend it.

Another component is the cycle of hurt and imitation. The more we are judged, chastised, pressured, and ridiculed for not following all the rules perfectly, the more we will tend to do the same for others later on. This is the same principle of perpetuated abuse that is observed in other contexts. The more a group or society develops this system of moral policing, the more it tends to intensify and perpetuate, which, if left unchecked, can result in a very toxic environment. Even getting out of it can be difficult because abuses and other negative symptoms created by systems of moral policing imposed by immature leaders often lead to more rules being introduced to try to prevent such scandals from repeating, which, in turn, do little to improve the devotional mood and often introduce other problems while trying to solve the first. Another trap is to just lower standards by removing all the rules, which also does little to increase devotion.

How to escape this cycle, then? Over time, we learn that even though rules are important, they are not everything, and gradually we progress to a more balanced stage, where the basic rules become natural and we focus on deepening our spiritual practice. At this stage, rules become something that supports our practice, instead of the very goal of it.

When we reach this more mature attitude, we lose interest in policing and hazing others. Instead, we become eager to reassure and genuinely help them progress. We become more interested in their relationship with Krsna than in their mistakes. At that point, we stop being part of the problem and become part of the solution.

Escaping the cycle of moral policing requires two things: deepening our own practice and learning from others who have transcended these different stages and can share their realizations with us. These are devotees who are joyful in their own practice, who follow the rules without harshly imposing them on others, who inspire instead of shaming, and who guide instead of controlling.

The more we can collectively advance in this process of maturity, the more we can avoid these negative aspects of religiosity and develop a movement based on genuine spiritual qualities, where devotees who struggle are greeted with compassion instead of judgment, and where we uplift each other instead of pushing each other down.

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