Often, it is not about becoming a pure devotee, but escaping sinful life
Would it not be better to practice and go back to Godhead sooner, instead of getting bogged down in family life? Would it not be better to accept the risk in the name of a high-reward option?
« Things I Wish Someone Had Taught Me When I Started Krishna Consciousness
Often, it is not about becoming a pure devotee, but escaping sinful life
Another misconception one can have is that, even if necessary, family life is detrimental to spiritual life, and that even if safer in family life, one would still advance more slowly. If we study the scriptures, especially the Srimad Bhāgavatam, we can find many passages speaking negatively about family life and recommending renounced life as a better path for those who are serious about self-realization. Taking this into consideration, would it not be better to just skip the idea altogether and instead use the time for improving our spiritual practice and going back to Godhead sooner, instead of getting bogged down in family life? Would it not be better to accept the risk in the name of a high-reward option?
This question has two sides. One side is that one who is genuinely renounced, bringing experience and renunciation from past lives, may do better if he skips married life, since he will be able to use his time properly to cultivate his natural practice. This is, in general, the path recommended in the scriptures for spiritually advanced transcendentalists.
However, one who is not on this platform will have a hard time controlling his mind. Not only will he or she be forced to spend much of his energy just repressing one’s nature, but will probably end up developing an unhealthy relationship with the opposite sex. This may not only be a hazard to mental health but also undermine spiritual practice since one will be spending most of their energy just repressing his mind and senses. Devotees in this situation can end up developing many different mental issues and not advancing very swiftly. Because in this case one is not fixed, there is also a great danger of falling at any moment.
We can see that in the Bhagavad-gītā Kṛṣṇa offers two paths for controlling the senses: acting according to one’s nature, and experiencing a higher taste. Conversely, Kṛṣṇa condemns the path of simple repression. Considering that He is the Supreme Personality of Godhead, omniscient and all-knowing, it would probably be prudent to consider His advice.
Advanced devotees experience this higher taste in spiritual life and thus lose interest in sense gratification. However, for one who is not on this platform, the path of regulated action following one’s nature (following the system of karma-yoga) is the proper path.
When we are starting in spiritual life, there is a phase of great enthusiasm that we can use to slingshot our spiritual life, by associating with seniors, distributing books, and performing other services, studying the scriptures, traveling to the holy places, or even spending a period living in an āśrama. However, after this initial enthusiasm wanes and the mind starts to give trouble, it’s important to receive experienced guidance and make the transition to family life.
In short, there are three platforms we can live on:
a) Truly spiritual
b) Pious
c) Sinful
Marriage exists to help one in a sinful platform, battling with the mind and senses to progress to a pious platform and from there have a chance of attaining a truly spiritual platform later on, opening the path for attaining true renunciation at the end.
We like to think of ourselves as very advanced, pure devotees, but the truth is that most of us come from very sinful backgrounds. We are not on the first platform but on the third. We are sinful persons who are trying to be devotees of Kṛṣṇa. As a result, most of us are not capable of maintaining a truly spiritual platform yet. At the same time, without a good spouse, chances are we will not be able to maintain a pious platform either.
We can see frequently that men who refuse to marry, thinking that it’s māyā or because they fear the responsibility, end up just having affairs with different ladies, and ladies who have a similar mentality end up just having affairs with different men. This is the symptom of one who is not on a spiritual platform but actually on a sinful platform.
Marriage is an institution that exists exactly to help one ascend from a sinful to a pious platform, where one has a better chance of successfully practicing Kṛṣṇa Consciousness and going back to Godhead.
« Things I Wish Someone Had Taught Me When I Started Krishna Consciousness
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