Often, we associate with devotees but are still alone
Not all devotees are perfect. In any group or community, we can find devotees from different backgrounds and at different stages of spiritual development, all mixed. Our own actions are also a factor.
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Often, we associate with devotees but are still alone
Not all devotees are perfect. In any group or community, we can find devotees from different backgrounds and at different stages of spiritual development, all mixed. Some of them may be highly evolved people who show genuine saintly qualities, while others may still be struggling with their lower natures. However, devotees are still the best of the bunch. They are the ones who are at least trying to wake up from illusion, while others are still asleep.
Despite this, we may often have the impression that living amongst devotees is not so great. Often, we meet people who are not very kind or good-natured, and we may feel dislocated, not being able to find like-minded souls. We may find it hard to reconcile these two ideas. On the one hand, devotees are supposed to be the best people, and on the other, we may often have trouble relating to devotees around us. How is it so?
A point to take into consideration is that when we live in a big city, with multi-million inhabitants, chances are we will be able to find our group of like-minded people somewhere among these millions, be it among family members, friends, or co-workers. When we come to Kṛṣṇa Consciousness, however, we generally start associating with a much smaller circle of devotees in our local group, and the chances of finding like-minded people become smaller. In this way, instead of having a circle of a few dozen like-minded people around us, we may be able to find just one or two very good friends, or sometimes not even that. When we fail to find our group of like-minded devotees, we may force ourselves to associate with people we don’t have much in common with, just because they are the only devotees around. Our experience in this case may not be so great. As Srila Prabhupada explains, even just two like-minded devotees who can cooperate can make great advancement together, but a large group of devotees who are not like-minded and who can’t find ways to cooperate will struggle to make any advancement at all.
How to solve that?
There are a few things that we can do. The first is to try to expand our horizons, getting in contact with more devotees, be it over Zoom and other virtual means, or by traveling and visiting other groups as well as festivals. As we expand our circle of acquaintances, the chances of finding a group of like-minded devotees increase. As we find our sanga, our happiness in spiritual life grows.
Another point is to try to bring like-minded friends and relatives to Kṛṣṇa consciousness. As the saying goes, birds of the same feather flock together. If we have an interest in Kṛṣṇa Consciousness, it’s quite possible that people with whom we have affinity will also have a similar propensity. If we can properly cultivate them and they also become devotees, we will have life companions who will continue sharing the same interests and avoid all the frustration of trying to find new friends in Kṛṣṇa Consciousness from scratch.
The third point is our own spiritual progress. As we advance in spiritual life and improve our personal qualities, our capacity to interact with other people and bring out the best in them increases, and thus our circle of like-minded people naturally grows.
It’s said that a pure devotee is dear both to the gentle and the ruffian. One good example of this can be noted in the life of Jayananda Thakur, the famous disciple of Srila Prabhupada. By this meek behavior, he was able to make genuine friends amongst all classes of people, souls who would come to Kṛṣṇa Consciousness because of him, and would remain his close friends afterwards:
“He was as much at home with the Italians at the produce market as with the brahmacharis in the temple. He would make friends on street sankirtan, and they would often come up to him and say, “Hey, where have you been?” Once a devotee was approached by a staggering drunk in San Francisco. The drunk looked at his robes and asked the devotee, “Hey, where’s my old friend Jayananda?”
Many devotees, including Danavir and Chandan Acharya, had the experience of taking over Jayananda’s old territory on incense-selling runs or bhoga runs. They would meet people who said such things as, “Where is Johnny Ananda?” or “That man – he’s the nicest and most pure man I’ve ever met.” One man told Chandan Acharya, “Well, I don’t know much about your philosophy, but if that Jayananda is into it, it must be all right.”
Once, near the Ratha-yatra cart work site, Jayananda invited Keshava to step inside a bar and meet some friends of his. They walked inside and immediately some 25 faces looked up and smiled brightly. Someone said, “Oh, this must be your friend you were telling us about, the temple president.” They presented the two devotees with a sack full of vegetarian groceries which they had chipped in together to buy.
Among the devotees, Jayananda was like a big brother, always compassionate and willing to listen to them. But devotees rarely burdened him with their problems. “When you were around Jayananda,” said Karandhara, “you had no problems.”
The devotees loved Jayananda and talked about him during long drives on traveling sankirtan. He was dear to them because he had a sense of humor, too. Jambavan recalls being awakened one night at midnight by Jayananda. “Wake up,” said Jayananda, “I’ve got a benediction for you.” He then pushed a big samosa into the sleepy Jambavan’s mouth.
Like Maharaja Yudhisthira, Jayananda’s enemy was never born.” (The Life of Jayananda Prabhu, by Kalakantha dasa).
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