Why Prabhupada's wife and children were not pure devotees?

How it could be that the wife and children of Srila Prabhupada, who had more opportunity of associating with him than any of his initiated disciples could be so callous to Krsna Consciousness?

One detail that puzzled me the first time I read the Prabhupada Lilamrta was the description of the family of Srila Prabhupada, more specifically his wife and children. According to the description in the Lilamrta, they didn't appear to be very interested in spiritual life. It describes, for example, how the wife of Srila Prabhupada would go upstairs and drink tea while Prabhupada was discoursing on Srimad Bhagavatam to visitors in the main room. Somehow, she adopted the habit of drinking black tea, like the British, despite the protests of her husband and would use it to voice her displeasure at his preaching activities.

From the same Prabhupada Lilamrta, we hear how even many of the most exalted disciples of Srila Prabhupada had the opportunity to associate with him for only brief periods directly. Most of their association would be through his books and through a few letters they exchanged with him. If just such brief moments of association were sufficient to make devotees on the stature of Jayapataka Swami, Bhakti Thirta Swami, and Gopal Krsna Goswami, one could imagine how purifying it would be to have the opportunity of associating with Srila Prabhupada for a few decades non-stop.

I would ask myself how it could be that the wife and children of Srila Prabhupada, who had more opportunity of associating with him than any of his initiated disciples could be so callous to Krsna Consciousness.

Later I learned that the wife of Srila Prabhupada was actually practicing Krsna Consciousness. Although she refused to be initiated by Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati because of her reluctance to make the vows at the time, she later took initiation from one of his disciples, a godbrother of Srila Prabhupada. Although maybe not so strictly she was following in her way, just like most of us nowadays. Similarly, the children of Srila Prabhupada were vegetarians, they would not drink or smoke, and they would regularly go to the temple and follow basic spiritual practices. They were doing better than most of our children nowadays.

The Prabhupada Lilamrta however, makes clear the difference between their understanding of Krsna Consciousness and the understanding of Srila Prabhupada, who was a pure devotee from birth and wanted to take into his head the responsibility of fulfilling the mission of his spiritual master. This shows the gulf of difference between the understanding of a neophyte devotee, who sees Krishna only as the deity in the temple and is not very interested in sharing Krishna Consciousness with others, and a pure devotee, who is prepared to sacrifice everything for the sake of the Lord. For a neophyte, Krishna Consciousness is just a part-time religion that they practice in the temple but don't want to mix with their personal life, while for a pure devotee, Krishna Consciousness is life itself.

There are a few lessons I learned from this. The first lesson is that even for a pure devotee, things rarely go without difficulties. Srila Prabhupada had to face and surpass an outrageous volume of challenges until he could even start fulfilling his mission of spreading Krsna Consciousness in the West. The reason Krsna sends such difficulties to his pure devotees is, in my understanding, two-fold.

The first reason is to glorify his pure devotees, making clear for the future generations how exalted they are, and to make them a live example of how we should behave when facing our own difficulties. We read about how the Pandavas went through so many difficulties without ever deviating from their devotion to Krsna. Similarly, we can see how the difficulties Srila Prabhupada went through never curbed his determination. Probably we would not be able to surpass the same difficulties the Pandavas or Srila Prabhupada faced, but according to our situation we face our small set of challenges, that we should also surpass by following their example.

The second reason is that Krsna gives His pure devotees the necessary skills and experiences they would later need to fulfill their missions. As Srila Prabhupada explains, pure devotees are not omniscient. They know things to the extent Krsna wants them to know. Sometimes Krsna may give them knowledge directly from the heart, but other times he may use different ways. We can understand thus that the challenges Srila Prabhupada faced in his family life were also part of the plan to give him the tools and experience he would later use to create our movement.

Another point that is clear to me is about the free will of the soul. One may have the opportunity of associating with a pure devotee for just a moment and use it to the fullest extent, while others may have the opportunity of much longer association, but use it frivolously and thus don't derive so much benefit out of it. The wife of Srila Prabhupada had the opportunity of associating with him much longer than any of his disciples, but she did not see him with the same reverence, nor did she hear from him with the same interest. Certainly, she was also not serving him with the same fervor. As a consequence, the benefit of the association was also different.

Reflecting on my own life, I see how this is a mistake I myself committed on so many occasions, taking the association of pure devotees casually, and thus missing the opportunity. It is said that familiarity breeds contempt. We should be careful to use any opportunity to associate with pure devotees to the fullest extent, and not just miss it frivolously, or, worse, by neglecting, envying, or offending them in different ways.

Another point I learned is that the process of Krsna Consciousness is not automatic. One has to make a conscious effort to practice, serve, learn, and thus advance. If one is apathetic in his or her spiritual practice, even the association of a pure devotee may not help much. The soul has his free will and can, at any moment, use this free will to come closer to Krsna, or closer to the material energy. The example of the wife of Srila Prabhupada drinking tea while he was discoursing on Srimad Bhagavatam is thus emblematic of our own apathy in spiritual life.