Respect does not mean blind trust
Spiritual maturity requires us to distinguish humility from naivety, forgiveness from trust, and genuine sādhus from imitators.
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One of the problems of the material world, especially in contemporary society, is that people can’t be completely open with each other. Honest and good-natured people are frequently cheated, and thus even the best people have to learn to build their defenses to be able to live in society.
When we come to Kṛṣṇa Consciousness, we frequently lower our guard, thinking that all devotees are saints. Many indeed are, but unfortunately not all. Many materialistic people pose as devotees, and these can be quite dangerous. There are also devotees who are quite sincere but not yet at a level where they can break with their negative materialistic tendencies and thus can still be prone to cheating others.
In the introduction to the Śrī Īśopaniṣad, Śrila Prabhupāda explains that a conditioned soul has four defects: the tendency to commit mistakes, the propensity to be in illusion, imperfect senses and intelligence, and the propensity to cheat others. We are all trying to get rid of such defects, but unfortunately, they can follow us quite far in spiritual life.
Lowering our guard when we start our spiritual lives can allow us to advance by associating with pure Vaiṣnavas, if we have the good fortune of meeting them, but also puts us at risk of being exploited by so-called Vaiṣnavas. Unfortunately, we can see that sincere people often become burned after being cheated by people they trusted.
It would be good if our movement were a perfect society, composed of only perfect people, or if we could at least protect good-natured people from all bad elements, but unfortunately, we are not there yet. It is still a mixed bag. As a result, betrayal is something most of us face at some point in our spiritual lives.
Often we see spiritual life as an escape from all the difficulties of the world. This idea can help us in the beginning, but it has to be later balanced with the understanding that spiritual societies and movements also have problems. This can be noticed both in ISKCON and other Vaiṣnava groups. That’s a human trace that transcends spiritual institutions. It is thus not a critique, but a simple matter of observation. Progressing requires us to acknowledge these deficiencies and learn how to deal with them. Without this maturity, we may try to close our eyes and maintain an attitude of blind faith longer than we should, and then decide to go back to material life when the shortcomings become undeniable.
Another mistake in this phase is to try to correct everything that is wrong around us. While this tendency can be highly positive for one in a position of leadership, for most of us it is actually not so beneficial. Things are the way they are because we are dealing with conditioned souls who are prone to committing mistakes, being egotistical, etc. Without solving the main problem (bringing people to a transcendental platform), it’s not possible to solve these problems just by activism. To bring people to a transcendental platform, the first step is for us to reach such a platform. Therefore, counterintuitive as it may seem, the best way to solve the problems of society is to step back and focus on our practice. When we come to an advanced platform, we will finally be able to understand the problems and contribute to their solution. If nothing else, we will be able to solve our own problems by going back to Godhead, which is also not a bad outcome.
Here are a few points that can help to maintain balance in spiritual practice:
a) Simplicity does not mean naivety.
It is described that a devotee should be humble and meek. Simplicity is another quality that is emphasized. This, however, does not mean we should be naive and trust blindly anyone and everyone just because one wears a devotional dress.
b) Respect is different from trust.
We should respect all devotees, and in fact everyone. Kṛṣṇa lives in every body as Paramātmā, and every soul is His part and parcel. Everyone thus is worthy of respect. However, respect is different from trust, which is formed based on three C’s: character, conduct, consistency.
Everyone should be respected, but it does not mean we should automatically trust someone in important questions, and especially not automatically trust based on status, position, etc. Many are not trustworthy; others may be well-intentioned, but not have the necessary maturity, and so on.
c) Discrimination is part of spiritual advancement.
The Nectar of Instruction text five explains that we should deal with different devotees according to their level of advancement. We should mentally offer respects to everyone but should associate with devotees who are advanced in devotional service and whose hearts have been cleansed. In fact, such distinction is part of the transition from the neophyte to the intermediate stage, as mentioned in both NOI 5 and SB 11.2.46.
d) Material skill should not be confused with spiritual advancement.
Much of what we do externally is connected with material skills we may have and is not necessarily the product of spiritual advancement. The fact someone can speak eloquently, chant well, remember verses, etc., does not necessarily mean one is a pure devotee. One can thus be a great speaker or kirtaniya and remain irresponsible, emotionally immature, etc. These two things should not be seen as contradictory.
e) Forgiveness should not automatically restore trust.
We may forget someone who took money from us and did not pay it back, but this doesn’t mean we should trust again. We may forget someone who misused a position of authority, but this does not mean we should put him back there. Forgiveness frees us from carrying resentment; rebuilding trust is a different matter entirely. Again, trust should come from the three C’s: character, conduct, consistency.
f) Mercy is not negligence
Similarly, forgiving does not mean that an offender should become free from accountability. A person who misused a position of trust should not be put back there and given the chance of again harming others. Forgiving is an internal decision; it means we give up carrying resentment. It does not mean one should not be punished for what was done or not prevented from doing the same again in the future.
g) The scriptures can be used against us
Dishonest people may selectively use passages from the scriptures to manipulate or defend themselves, invoking surrender, humility, service, vaiṣṇava-aparādha, etc., when the real goal is to manipulate others and suppress legitimate questions. By properly understanding the scriptures, we can notice the difference. A genuine authority does not fear reasonable questions.
h) The other extreme
One problem is naivety: to blindly trust everyone and be hurt in the process. That’s what this article is about. Another issue, however, is cynicism: to go on the opposite extreme and start thinking all devotees are bad. This is what this article is meant to protect from.
i) Activism can also become a distraction.
This is an important counterbalancing point. One thing is to maintain accountability and protect others. However, there is another extreme: to criticize for the sake of criticizing or to start trying to correct everything and everyone. This can easily feed pride, anger, faultfinding, etc., destroying our spiritual practice. We should also keep this distinction in mind.
j) Painful experiences can produce maturity.
Finishing on a positive note, any experience can become ultimately positive if we can learn from it. Often, negative experiences can teach us to distinguish real sadhus from imitators and help us to grow more mature. We should always remember that counterfeits exist because the genuine article has value. Mundane people tend to try to pose as pure devotees exactly because genuine spiritual realization is valuable and commands respect. The fact that there are so many fakes around should help us to value the real.
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Each point is very important. it would be beneficial to have an article addressing each one individually.