The role of trust in spiritual life
Most of us had previous bad experiences connected with trust. When we come to Krsna Consciousness, we may give it a fresh start, but if we are betrayed again, a great scar is created.
To be able to surrender to Krsna, we need to have trust in Him. It’s not possible to surrender to someone we don’t trust. Usually, we don’t directly surrender to Krsna; we do it through the spiritual master, but the fact remains the same: we can’t surrender without trust. We can see that many devotees who, for one reason or another, are let down or betrayed in their faith have a great difficulty trusting and thus surrendering. Because of their feelings of betrayal, they can’t surrender to a spiritual master, and consequently, they can’t also surrender to Krsna.
Trust is also necessary for loving. One who is betrayed will have difficulty in trusting and thus in loving others. We can see cases of ladies who, after being betrayed by a man, become very averse to the idea of being in a loving relationship with someone again. People who are betrayed by religious people will tend to become distrustful of religion in general, often not being able to distinguish one group from the other, and so on. In all these different circumstances, the feeling of betrayal can go very deeply into the heart and prevent one from trusting again. Such impressions can even accompany one to the next life, creating a more permanent blemish around the soul.
On the other hand, someone who has previous experiences of trusting people who are trustworthy usually develops an attitude of confidence and is more inclined to also trust and love Krsna and the spiritual master when the opportunity arises. From this, we can understand how important it is to be a trustworthy person. Each time we betray or take advantage of someone, we push this person away from Krsna, which is a serious offense. We can see how sometimes devotees use dishonest practices in book distribution or in other forms of outreach, which is a great mistake. One who can’t show proper civilized qualities, starting from honesty, probably does better by staying silently at home, since most of the time he will do more harm than good by trying to reach others.
An environment of love and trust is especially important when we talk about educating children. A child who doesn’t receive good care from his parents or feels betrayed by a senior person on whom he or she depended may carry this impression for the whole life, something that can be very detrimental to his or her spiritual development. We can see how this is an important factor in the lives of many second and third-generation devotees, who often become averse to Krsna Consciousness after experiences of abuse or neglect.
Similarly, we can see how many prominent devotees in our movement came from balanced families. Although not directly practicing Krsna Consciousness, we were able to give them proper love and care and thus create the impressions in their minds that would later allow them to adopt the path of devotional service and surrender unto Krsna with determination. The garbhādhāna saṁskāra and other processes and ceremonies are important in order to generate Krsna Conscious children, but they are not all in all. In order to be entrusted with an enlightened soul, a couple needs to have proper human qualities that will allow them to properly take care of this child. External symbols and labels will not do, since Krsna knows what one has in his or her heart.
Love and trust are also essential in the general relationships with other devotees, since positive experiences increase trust and thus improve relationships inside the community, while negative experiences create distrust and weaken the relationships. One who is dishonest in his dealings weakens the whole Vaishnava community.
Most of us had previous bad experiences with our relatives, friends, co-workers, and seniors, which may have created bad impressions in our consciousness. When we come to Krsna Consciousness, we may be open for a fresh start, but if we are again betrayed, it is often very difficult to recover. This shows how important honesty and trustworthiness are in dealings with other devotees.
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Dealing with guilt and fear in spiritual practice
An important aspect of spiritual life is to honestly acknowledge our mistakes and strive to move in the right direction. This willingness to improve is the very foundation of spiritual practice. If we think we are perfect and everything we do is right, there is no impetus for transformation, and spiritual advancement becomes impossible. The very fact that we are here in this material world, struggling with the senses and mind, already shows that something is not as it should be. Recognizing our shortcomings is the beginning of this process of change, and change is precisely what spiritual practice is meant to bring.