We can disagree without fighting

Not only do we disagree on social networks, but we also disagree in real life. We disagree in all spheres of human interactions. There is one story that is significant in this connection, however.

We frequently disagree with others. This is not only human nature, but perfectly natural in the age we live in. It is not by chance that Kali-yuga is known as the age of quarrel. If we did not disagree, it would not be Kali-yuga.

Not only do we disagree on social networks, but we also disagree in real life. We disagree in all spheres of human interactions. We can see how discussions about masks and other preventive measures divided families during the pandemic, for example.

One story that is significant to me in this connection, however, was the relationship between Srila Prabhupada and Dr. Mishra in his first months in New York.

Doctor Mishra was a Mayavadi who was living in New York and teaching Haṭha Yoga. Although he was a Sannyāsi from the Sankara school, he was living more like a businessman, with his yoga academy and other establishments. He was one of the “bogus gurus” that Srila Prabhupada was so strongly criticizing in his writings, teaching that God is ultimately impersonal, and that in fact we are all one. It would be difficult to find someone who would be more at odds with Srila Prabhupada in terms of philosophical opinions and life goals.

However, we can read in the Prabhupada Lilamrta about how Srila Prabhupada was interacting with him on a human level. He was cooking him prasāda and trying to do him good, by engaging him in service as far as possible. At the time, Dr. Mishra was severely ill, and later he said this prasāda Prabhupada was giving him saved his life:

“His Holiness Bhaktivedanta Gosvamiji really knocked me down with love. He was really an incarnation of love. My body had become a skeleton and he really brought me back to life – his cooking and especially his love. And his devotion to Lord Krishna. I was very lazy in the matter of cooking, but he would get up and have ready. It was not bread he gave me – he gave me prasadam. This was life, and he saved my life. At that time I was not sure I would live, but his habit to eat on time, whether I was hungry or not – that I very much liked. He’d get up and say, “All right, this is bhagavat prasadam,” and I would say, “All right.”

When Prabhupada came to New York, Mishra was the first to support him. In fact, it was exactly the contact with Doctor Mishra that made it possible for Prabhupada to go to New York in the first place. The first place Prabhupada visited in the United States was Butler, a small city in Pennsylvania, where he was sponsored by Gopāla and Sally Argarwal. When he arrived on the Jaladuta, these were the only persons he knew in the country. From their house, he started writing to different people, trying to establish more contacts for opening other opportunities for speaking about Krsna Consciousness, and Doctor Mishra was one of the few who answered, inviting Prabhupada to stay with him.

Srila Prabhupada was living with him for some time, and frequently he would be invited to sing kīrtanas during his yoga meetings. Although Srila Prabhupada was not allowed to teach Vaiṣnava philosophy there, he would accept it as a way to introduce the chanting to new people and thus benefit them. Frequently, they would have heated philosophical discussions, but afterward, they would still be friends. Srila Prabhupada would not agree with his Mayavadi ideas and would openly speak against them whenever he had the opportunity, and Dr. Mishra would not accept Vaiṣnava philosophy, but still, they would interact well at a human level.

Prabhupada even invited him at some point to help him on his translation of the Srimad Bhagavatam, doing the Sanskrit transliteration, in an attempt to engage him in devotional service, and thus create a path for him to purify and gradually develop devotion to the Lord. Unfortunately, Doctor Mishra was too busy with his yoga school and his other projects and declined the offer, something that he later admitted to regret. Apparently, later in life, he had a change of heart and regretted not having associated more intimately with Srila Prabhupada. This is a pattern that can be observed in others who had the opportunity to associate with Prabhupada at different stages of his life, and would remember him strongly at the end of life and become Krsna Conscious. You can find some of these stories in the book Our Srila Prabhupada - A Friend To All by Mulaprakrti Dasi. There is a link for it on Scribd.

We can see that all of this was possible because Prabhupada was very tolerant with people, and would be attentive to interact with them in considerate ways, understanding what was their position in the spiritual path, and giving them the next step. He would not agree with their misguided opinions, but he would object in a considerate way, to which they could relate, creating a path for change instead of conflict.

This is actually one very prominent trace in traditional Indian culture in general. People have different opinions, they disagree, and frequently have heated discussions, just like we do. The difference is that they would not bring it to a personal level, and after the argument would cool down they would still be friends. The crucial difference is that they would be able to disagree on a philosophical or intellectual level, but without developing hatred for each other. As a result, they would be able to accommodate different worldviews in the sphere of the relationship without breaking it. In other words, they would understand that although one may have different opinions, he or she was still their friend or relative. It’s different from us, who frequently have a more monochromatic view of the world and are ready to abandon friends and relatives at the smallest disagreement.

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