When grief brings us closer to Krsna

In many situations, we feel overwhelmed, lost, without fully understanding what is happening and without understanding what we should do next. In this moments, we can easily come closer to Krsna.

There are many situations in life when we may feel overwhelmed by the situation. We may feel completely lost, without fully understanding what is happening and without understanding what we should do next. We may feel confused and crushed by grief. People often experience this when there is some imminent danger, like war, famine, or the possibility of the loss of a close relative.

Is this Māyā? In a sense, it may be called Māyā since all lamentation is based on material considerations like life or death, gain or loss. However, it is quite understandable.

Didn’t Arjuna feel overwhelmed at the beginning of the Bhagavad-gītā, ready to abandon his duty out of grief? Didn’t Yudhiṣṭhira feel overwhelmed after the battle of Kurukṣetra, grieving for the millions who lost their lives and fearing the karmic reactions? Was Arjuna not a pure devotee? Was Yudhiṣṭhira not a pure devotee? How then could they be so strongly affected by grief?

The point is that a pure devotee is not a robot. A pure devotee has feelings. He is not indifferent to others’ suffering, quite the opposite: he feels compassion even more strongly than an ordinary person.

However, there is a very important difference between the lamentation of a devotee and the lamentation of a mundane person. A devotee may lament for some time, but this lamentation leads him to become closer to Krsna and seek his guidance, be it directly, by consulting seniors, by studying the scriptures, or by allowing Paramātmā to guide him through his intelligence. Under the guidance of Krsna, a devotee can very quickly surpass his grief and emerge fully determined and ready to act and do the needful.

We can see that after describing his grief and doubts at the beginning of the Gītā, Arjuna surrenders to Krsna by declaring:

kārpaṇya-doṣopahata-svabhāvaḥ, pṛcchāmi tvāṁ dharma-sammūḍha-cetāḥ
yac chreyaḥ syān niścitaṁ brūhi tan me, śiṣyas te ’haṁ śādhi māṁ tvāṁ prapannam

“Now I am confused about my duty and have lost all composure because of miserly weakness. In this condition I am asking You to tell me for certain what is best for me. Now I am Your disciple, and a soul surrendered unto You. Please instruct me.” (Bg 2.7)

This leads Krsna to transmit the teachings of the Gītā, not only taking Arjuna out of illusion, but helping all of us. In this way, we can see that even while in lamentation, a pure devotee is completely in sync with the mission of the Lord. The point is thus not to avoid grief, but to remain connected with Krsna in all circumstances, even in lamentation.

A materialist, on the other hand, may sink into despair, becoming incapacitated by the sense of grief, or he may succumb to wrath and start acting in ways that just make things escalate and make the problem worse. More than that, the negative situation and its consequences make him submerge even deeper under the laws of karma and under the reactions of his actions, going even further away from Krsna.

This negative spiral is also described in the Gītā:

“While contemplating the objects of the senses, a person develops attachment for them, and from such attachment lust develops, and from lust anger arises. From anger, complete delusion arises, and from delusion bewilderment of memory. When memory is bewildered, intelligence is lost, and when intelligence is lost one falls down again into the material pool.” (Bg 2.63-64)

Most of us are in the middle. We are not materialists, but are also not pure devotees yet. In this position, it’s important to understand that we have a choice between these two paths and, of course, the choice we make will determine where we will be in the future.

When we face strong grief, the first step is to accept our emotions. Even if the cause of grief is illusory, the feeling itself is real, and we must learn to deal with it in order to learn from the situation. Instead of falling into despair or succumbing to wrath, the right attitude is to use this emotion as a catalyst to approach Krsna feelingly. At the end of the 4th canto of Srimad Bhagavatam, we have the description of how Vaidarbhī was able to meet the Lord and receive instructions from him in a moment of loss. In his purports, Prabhupada explains that Vaidarbhī was at that moment not a self-realized soul. However, as he explains, the renunciation that comes from material loss can make even an ordinary person apt to see the Lord, just as in the case of Vaidarbhī. When the grief is properly directed, it can bring us closer to Krsna and thus prove to be a blessing in disguise.

Even if we can’t directly see Krsna, the process of approaching advanced devotees and inquiring from them, taking shelter in reading and chanting, and continuing to serve Krsna, even if imperfectly, can bring us the connection and the clarity we need to surpass these challenges and emerge spiritually stronger at the end.

As Krsna explains in the Gītā:

“One can understand Me as I am, as the Supreme Personality of Godhead, only by devotional service. And when one is in full consciousness of Me by such devotion, he can enter into the kingdom of God. Though engaged in all kinds of activities, My pure devotee, under My protection, reaches the eternal and imperishable abode by My grace. In all activities just depend upon Me and work always under My protection. In such devotional service, be fully conscious of Me. If you become conscious of Me, you will pass over all the obstacles of conditioned life by My grace. If, however, you do not work in such consciousness but act through false ego, not hearing Me, you will be lost.” (Bg 18.55-58)

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