Why do I feel nothing when I chant?
If the holy names are so powerful as we hear, why don't we immediately feel taste when we chant? Why do the words often flow mechanically while the mind wanders here and there?
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We hear that the holy names are Kṛṣṇa Himself. Therefore, when we chant Hare Kṛṣṇa, Hare Kṛṣṇa, Kṛṣṇa Kṛṣṇa, Hare Hare, Hare Rama, Hare Rama, Rama Rama, Hare Hare, we are not just reciting words, but we are in the presence of God Himself, who is all attractive, all powerful, eternally blissful, etc. The chanting is supposed to cleanse the heart, bring us spiritual bliss, and awaken love of God.
This philosophical understanding, however, often contrasts with our practical experience. Often we chant but feel nothing at all, or sometimes we may even feel uncomfortable. If the holy names are so powerful as we hear, why don't we immediately feel taste when we chant? Why do the words often flow mechanically while the mind wanders here and there?
Before giving up, concluding that “it doesn’t work for me”, you may consider these points:
a) The goal is not to feel bliss
It may look surprising at first, but the goal of chanting the holy names is not to feel happy, and this is an essential point we often get wrong. If I chant because this chanting is supposed to bring me happiness, chanting becomes a selfish act; I chant because I expect something out of it. Yes, a pure devotee feels spiritual bliss while chanting, but it’s important to understand the mechanism behind it.
Chanting is supposed to be an act of love, or at very least an offering. Kṛṣṇa likes to be glorified; therefore, we chant His names not as a transaction, but as a way to bring Him happiness. This attitude of service awakens our transcendental nature as souls, and this transcendental awakening brings us spiritual bliss. Contradictory as it may seem, spiritual bliss is awakened when we stop looking for it.
b) It takes some time
Suppose we feel some chronic pain. We go to the doctor, get diagnosed, and start a treatment to address the cause of it. We can’t expect that the pain will immediately go away. The treatment may take time, and the results may start to appear only later on.
Similarly, one may get some preliminary benefits early in the process of chanting, but the real thing comes only later, after months or years of practice, as we shred all the different layers of material contamination that cover us. That’s why a good philosophical understanding of the process is so important, so we can persist through this process. Medicine starts working before we feel relief, and fire burns even before there is a visible flame.
c) Often, quantity comes before quality
The process of chanting is based on two principles: quantity and quality. Ideally, both should come together. Haridāsa Thākura is not called the Nāmācārya simply because he chanted three lakhs daily, but because he could do that with such high purity. One could try to imitate the quantity, but would not be able to match the quality.
In this way, both quantity and quality are important, but we need to understand that quality comes from spiritual realization. As long as we are not purified, quality will not come from willpower alone. Trying to remain concentrated while chanting can help to a certain extent, but it only goes so far.
The difficulty is that often quality is too much emphasized, and we may get the idea that if we are not immediately chanting with taste, it means there is something wrong with us. Yes, in the absolute sense there are many things wrong, and that’s the reason we are here in the material world, but the problem is not exactly with the chanting.
In the Gītā, Kṛṣṇa explains that, “That which in the beginning may be just like poison but at the end is just like nectar and which awakens one to self-realization is said to be happiness in the mode of goodness.” True taste and spiritual bliss come from purification, which in turn comes from practicing the spiritual process long enough. Sometimes we feel something in the beginning as a confirmation from Paramātma inside the heart that this is the right path, but in general, the beginning is marked by difficulties, and the result comes only a little later.
There is also another point: the shadow of the holy names that is obtained in the association with advanced devotees. Often we go to chant japa in the temple in the morning, or attend a japa retreat, and we get some taste there. Then we go home, feel nothing, and think there is something wrong. Most of the time, there is nothing wrong; that’s exactly how it is supposed to be. We feel something in the temple or retreat not because our chanting suddenly improved, but just because of the association. If we can go every day, great; otherwise, we should be prepared to not get the same while chanting alone at home. This is an expected part of the process. The challenge is not to always have taste, but to persist in chanting even when the taste is absent.
When we go to Prabhupāda’s teachings, we see that most of the time he was emphasizing regulated chanting, and not immediate mystical experiences. See this conversation for example. Here he makes the point that we start from quantity, and this regulated practice eventually awakens taste for chanting:
“Brahmānanda: The quality of the chanting he’s asking. How can we make the quality the best?
Prabhupāda: Quality..., you’ll understand; first of all come to the quantity. Without having quantity, how he’ll understand the quality? You follow the instruction of your spiritual master, of the śāstra. That is your duty. Quality, no quality---it is not your position to understand. When the quality comes, there is no force. You will have a taste for chanting. You will desire at that time, “Why sixteen rounds? Why not sixteen thousand rounds?” That is quality. That is quality. It is by force. You’ll not do it; therefore at least sixteen rounds. But when you come to the quality, you will feel yourself, “Why sixteen? Why not sixteen thousand?” That is quality, automatically.”
Often everything we have to do to improve the quality of our chanting is to just chant more. If we are not able to remain focused while chanting 16 rounds, often the solution is to simply chant 24 or 32, or even more. We get better at what we do frequently. I personally have a great admiration for devotees who can chant just 16 rounds in a very concentrated way, but for me, it never worked. I start to concentrate better only when I chant more.
d) Taste comes only much later
There is a verse from the Caitanya Caritāmṛta (Madhya 23.14–15) which describes the progressive levels of devotional practice:
ādau śraddhā tataḥ sādhu-saṅgo ’tha bhajana-kriyā
tato ’nartha-nivṛttiḥ syāt tato niṣṭhā rucis tataḥ
athāsaktis tato bhāvas tataḥ premābhyudañcati
sādhakānām ayaṁ premṇaḥ prādurbhāve bhavet kramaḥ
The sequence is śraddhā → sādhu-saṅga → bhajana-kriyā → anartha-nivṛtti → niṣṭhā → ruci → āsakti → bhāva → prema.
Real taste comes in the stage of ruci, which is quite an advanced level. First one has to practice for a long time, conclude the anartha-nivṛtti stage, then practice more in the stage of niṣṭhā before finally attaining the stage of ruci. Yes, in the absolute sense, we all should develop spiritual taste, but it is a mistake to think it will come immediately from simply guided meditation.
Not many children have a taste for going to school. Interest usually comes later. Similarly, in the beginning we chant based on some preliminary faith in the spiritual master or in the devotees who are guiding us, because we made a vow, or because we intellectually understand that it is beneficial. This is not hypocrisy. This is the discipline that precedes spiritual realization.
That’s also a point Prabhupāda made on several occasions:
“In the beginning it may appear bitter, but when one advances, then he will see how pleasing it is. As soon as one understands his identity, his relationship with God, then immediately he becomes happy.” (London’s Conway Hall, in 1969)
Once, in the beginning of our movement, a lady-disciple mentioned to Prabhupāda that she was seeing lights whenever she started chanting. Prabhupāda said to continue chanting, and the lights would eventually disappear. If we are getting mystical experiences too early, it may be the result of illicit substances.
e) Spontaneous chanting
Another mistake is to think that authentic chanting must always be spontaneous. This is another point that is true in an advanced stage, but becomes disastrous when applied to a beginner.
Spontaneity without spiritual realization usually means following the mind. In the conditioned stage, we cannot trust the mind to do anything positive. The mind becomes a friend only much later, when our spiritual nature is finally awakened. Until then, beneficial spiritual activities are usually the result of a conscious choice. We don’t really feel like doing it, but still we do it, based on superior understanding, duty, commitment, or whatever may work.
Most of the time, lack of taste doesn’t mean something is wrong; it is a natural part of the process. In the beginning, there may be some taste coming and going according to our mental state, but this is not the real thing. Instead of pursuing this ephemeral taste based on the state of the mind, it is better to just focus on following the process and achieving factual realization.
f) Mechanical practice
On the other hand, however, there is a difference between regulated chanting and careless chanting.
Regulated chanting may feel mechanical because we chant at the same time, repeat the same mantra, etc. This is part of the process. Careless chanting is different. We rush, swallow syllables, chant while reading messages, or try to finish the rounds as fast as possible so we can continue our day. This is the habit we must learn to avoid.
g) Exhaustion
Often, we cannot chant properly simply because we are tired. That’s why we are generally advised to chant during the morning, when the mind is fresh. This is another point that may be difficult in the beginning, but if we get used to it, that can be highly beneficial. The mind is naturally predisposed to meditation shortly after we wake up. Ordinary people often just take a coffee to get over it, so they can immediately start their day, but if we can learn to recognize and use this state, that can become the best opportunity we will have for the whole day.
If we can go to sleep earlier and wake up one or two hours early, this can make miracles in our spiritual practice. Pure devotees can chant in love of Godhead at any time, but ordinary mortals chant better early in the morning.
h) The holy name is still acting
We should not judge the quality of our practice simply by the superficial state of the mind. Sometimes chanting may bring us immediate peace, but at other times it just exposes our internal agitation. Sometimes it brings enthusiasm, but at other times it exposes how little enthusiasm we have. Sometimes we feel taste; other times discomfort. All of this is normal, but it has little to do with the quality of our chanting. These are simply the superficial states of the mind; the chanting is acting on a much deeper level we often can’t notice.
In the beginning, what we perceive as “dry” or “sweet” chanting is simply a manifestation of the state of the mind. When we focus too much on it, we miss the real point. Instead of paying attention to how the mind perceives the chanting, we do better by simply focusing on the chanting itself.
The process of mantra meditation is based on fixing our attention on the transcendental vibration itself. “Sweet” or “dry” are simply adjectives introduced by the mind. These two things exist at different levels. When we choose to focus on the level of the chanting, the superficial emotions of the mind start to look distant. That’s the state we can really chant.
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