Why do we act before thinking, and how can we change it?

Patterns of behavior imprinted in our unconscious minds can be treacherous, making us act even before realizing it, repeating patterns of behavior that can be dangerous for ourselves and others.

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One of the fundamental differences between a human and a computer is that a computer doesn’t have free will, being limited to running software that is installed, while a human can use his intelligence to decide what to do. What may surprise us is that much of what we do is also automatically decided by patterns we have imprinted in our minds. Just like software, these patterns are applied at an unconscious level, making us act before having the opportunity to think about it. When our consciousness catches up, it’s already done. Most of us can probably relate to some situation where we did or said something without thinking about it, and to different patterns of behavior we feel we can’t easily change.

Much of it starts in childhood. We absorb a lot from observing the way our parents and other guardians behave and deal with situations. Whatever they do is implanted in our minds on a subconscious level and becomes hard to change later. If a boy sees his father hitting his mother when they have discussions, for example, this pattern of behavior will be imprinted in his mind, and he will tend to repeat it. A girl who sees the mother verbally abusing the father will also tend to do the same, and so on. As mentioned, these patterns are implanted at a subconscious level and are very difficult to change.

Even a great deal of spiritual advancement may not be sufficient to erase them, and this explains how even very senior devotees can often be caught behaving in questionable ways, even though they may be trying to avoid it. This programming coming from our early life can be a treacherous thing. Understanding that, how can we change?

Usually, these patterns of behavior can be changed only when they are brought up to the conscious mind. We need to first notice a certain pattern, then try to understand where it comes from (like remembering how the father used to beat up the mother), then use our intelligence to reflect on it, concluding that it is not correct, and deciding what to do instead. When everything is settled, we can put it back into the subconscious mind and hope the operation will be successful in setting a new pattern of behavior. The process is quite similar to modifying software on a computer, where we need to stop the software, open the source code, recompile it, and run it again, and that’s because it indeed works similarly. A computer is basically just an artificial mind.

The processes one uses to deal with it may differ. In my case, for example, writing these articles is very much part of the process. For you, it may be different. In any case, this process of bringing things from the subconscious mind, unpacking them, reflecting on them, and putting them back demands another thing we have been discussing recently, which is introspection and contemplation. Without a conscious process of observing our actions, noticing such patterns of behavior, and having time to reflect on them, we are more or less hopeless.

Much of our progress in spiritual life depends on changing different aspects of our behavior. Sincere chanting is the foundation of this process because chanting is what gives us the sincerity and strength to try to change. However, this process doesn’t happen automatically just by chanting: we have to make a conscious effort, spending time observing these different patterns and reflecting on them. For this, we need introspection, observing good and bad examples from others, as well as from stories from the scriptures, and gradually implementing them in our own lives.

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