The suffering of new birth (Srimad Bhagavatam #44)

Kapila emphasizes the inconveniences of taking another birth since the idea is to convince us to go back to Godhead in this lifetime. We should desire to perfect our Krsna Consciousness in this life.

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The suffering of a new birth in the material world (Chapter 3.31)

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In chapter 31, Lord Kapila gives a quite negative description of the life of a baby in the womb and after birth. Lord Kapila describes, for example, that "Bitten again and again all over the body by the hungry worms in the abdomen itself, the child suffers terrible agony because of his tenderness. He thus becomes unconscious moment after moment because of the terrible condition." And that, "Laid down on a foul bed infested with sweat and germs, the poor child is incapable of scratching his body to get relief from his itching sensation to say nothing of sitting up, standing or even moving."

This gives us a quite dark description. After reading it, one may decide to never have a child, since why should we want to put someone in such a situation? However, there are a few points to examine.

First of all, a human birth is necessary for a soul to have a reasonable chance of going back to Godhead, and especially a human birth in a family of devotees is very rare. Actually, the whole universe exists just to give souls an opportunity to go back to Godhead. Although the universe is populated by an uncountable number of living entities, there are just a few billion human beings, and out of these, just a thousand have the opportunity to take birth in nice Vaishnava families. One who agrees to provide such a rare opportunity for a carefully chosen soul surely gets a lot of credit in his or her account.

Kapila emphasizes the inconveniences of taking another birth since the idea is to convince us to go back to Godhead in this lifetime. This should be taken on the positive side, making us understand the difficulties related to taking another birth in this world and thus desiring to perfect our Krsna Consciousness in this lifetime, and not on the negative side, making us neglect our duties in family life by not having children and taking care of them. We can see that in the Bhagavad-gita Krsna also advises Arjuna to ascend into a platform of renunciation, while simultaneously performing his duty and fighting in the battle. The message of the Bhagavad-gita is centered around performing one's duties in a detached way, and not in "running from the battle" by neglecting them.

Another point is that this part of Srimad Bhagavatam describes the birth of a soul who was sinful in his past life and is taking a new human birth after going to hell. Since it's described in the scriptures, it is certain that some souls indeed go through such ordeals, but not necessarily everyone. Not all mothers have their wombs infected by worms that bite the baby, although this may happen in certain cases. The amount of discomfort a baby feels after birth also varies greatly according to the parents. Babies with lapse parents may suffer a great deal, while babies born of more careful parents may have an easier time.

The point is that the parents have the duty of trying to reduce such discomfort as much as possible. It's described for example that eating spiced foods can cause discomfort for the baby, therefore a conscious mother will avoid it. Being a small baby is similar to being in prison, in the sense that one is completely dependent. You can imagine that if you were in a prison with cruel guards who would not interact with you and not feed you regularly, your experience would be much different than if you were cared for by kind people.

A new birth in this material world is always filled with difficulties. The process of birth itself is always difficult for the baby, as well as for the mother. However, the extent of such difficulties depends greatly on the piety of the baby and the care of the parents. Impious souls born in impious families can suffer unbearably, while pious souls born of good parents may have an easier time. Above all, a good birth gives the soul an opportunity to go back to Godhead, which is surely more important than any amount of inconvenience.

In general, the Srimad Bhagavatam emphasizes the positive aspects of devotional service instead of trying to bring us to the path by fear, but a description of the difficulties and risks connected with another birth in this material world can bring some sobriety to our minds. Srila Prabhupada explains that "a person who is serious about advancement in spiritual consciousness should always consider the four pangs of birth, death, disease and old age."

Apart from all the inconveniences, another birth brings also risks. Since we lose our memory after a new birth, there is always a possibility we may become distracted by the opportunities offered by a new body and forget about the practice of Krsna Consciousness, especially if we are already not practicing very seriously during this life. Although beginning our Krsna Consciousness in this life guarantees we are going to receive a human body in the next life to continue our path, if we misuse our free will in this new body and use it to just enjoy our senses, there is the possibility we may be degraded back to animal life from there. In the Bhagavad-gita Krsna assures that one who tries to practice Krsna Consciousness in this life but is not able to conclude it receives a new birth in a rich or pious family, a position where one will have good chances of practicing Krsna Consciousness, but Prabhupada in his purports emphasizes that the opportunities offered by a good birth can also serve as an allurement. Even if one takes birth in a Vaishnava family, there is still the possibility to make wrong choices due to free will. Therefore, the best is to use the opportunity we have now.

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The teachings of Lord Kapila in this chapter can be broken down into five sections. This is the first:

"The Personality of Godhead said: Under the supervision of the Supreme Lord and according to the result of his work, the living entity, the soul, is made to enter into the womb of a woman through the particle of male semen to assume a particular type of body.

On the first night, the sperm and ovum mix, and on the fifth night the mixture ferments into a bubble. On the tenth night it develops into a form like a plum, and after that, it gradually turns into a lump of flesh or an egg, as the case may be.

In the course of a month, a head is formed, and at the end of two months the hands, feet and other limbs take shape. By the end of three months, the nails, fingers, toes, body hair, bones and skin appear, as do the organ of generation and the other apertures in the body, namely the eyes, nostrils, ears, mouth and anus.

Within four months from the date of conception, the seven essential ingredients of the body, namely chyle, blood, flesh, fat, bone, marrow and semen, come into existence. At the end of five months, hunger and thirst make themselves felt, and at the end of six months, the fetus, enclosed by the amnion, begins to move on the right side of the abdomen.

Deriving its nutrition from the food and drink taken by the mother, the fetus grows and remains in that abominable residence of stools and urine, which is the breeding place of all kinds of worms.

Bitten again and again all over the body by the hungry worms in the abdomen itself, the child suffers terrible agony because of his tenderness. He thus becomes unconscious moment after moment because of the terrible condition.

Owing to the mother’s eating bitter, pungent foodstuffs, or food which is too salty or too sour, the body of the child incessantly suffers pains which are almost intolerable.

Placed within the amnion and covered outside by the intestines, the child remains lying on one side of the abdomen, his head turned towards his belly and his back and neck arched like a bow.

The child thus remains just like a bird in a cage, without freedom of movement. At that time, if the child is fortunate, he can remember all the troubles of his past one hundred births, and he grieves wretchedly. What is the possibility of peace of mind in that condition?

Thus endowed with the development of consciousness from the seventh month after his conception, the child is tossed downward by the airs that press the embryo during the weeks preceding delivery. Like the worms born of the same filthy abdominal cavity, he cannot remain in one place." (SB 3.31.1-10)

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This chapter continues the description of the destiny of a sinful person from the last chapter. After going to hell and having to go through the long evolutive process through the lower species, a soul finally comes again to human life, entering the body of the mother through the semen of the father. The semen and the ovum then mix and from the combination of both a new body is gradually formed.

Naturally, the combination of the father and mother doesn't create a new soul, but the body they create serves as a shelter for a soul sent by the Lord. It is described that the mental state of the parents determines the mentality of the child who will take shelter in the womb. The union of the father and mother creates a new body according to their state of consciousness, and according to the type of body they create by their union, a soul of the corresponding mentality will take shelter in the womb. In the third canto of Srimad Bhagavatam, we find two opposite examples of how this process works. Diti and Kasyapa Muni begot children at an inappropriate time and in a disturbed state of consciousness, resulting in the birth of two great demons. Devahuti and Kardama Muni, on the other hand, begot children after practicing austerities and completely purifying their consciousness. As a result, they begot an incarnation of the Lord.

Children are not tabula rasas. The soul brings his previous impressions, personal traits, and desires from past lives. The upbringing and the education a child receives from the parents and tutors play a great role in who he or she is going to become, but a great deal is brought from his previous life. A highly enlightened soul will be able to ascend to the highest level of spiritual practice with just a little help, while a soul at a lower level of spiritual development may struggle to follow basic moral principles even with the best education. Prabhupada therefore emphasizes the importance of purifying our consciousness through the process of garbhādhāna samskara before begetting a child. There are many principles recommended in the scripture, but Prabhupada emphasized the main principle, which is the attentive chanting of the holy names, recommending to his disciples to chant a minimum of 50 rounds during the day, reserving the time for their spiritual practice, and try to conceive a child at night.

As Srila Prabhupada explains, taking good care of the children is the primary duty of the parents, because when children grow up in a good environment, receiving good examples from their parents and the proper education, they will become enlightened individuals who will bring positive changes to society. This process starts by purifying our consciousness before begetting our children and continues during their whole process of growing and education. In other passages, Prabhupada emphasizes that the problems of the world are not caused by overpopulation, but by the scarcity of devotees of the Lord. If there would be an overpopulation of pure devotees, our planet would become a paradise.

As he mentions in his purport to text five: "We can understand from the Vedic literature how much care is taken to beget a nice child in society. The garbhādhāna ceremony before sexual intercourse was compulsory for persons in the higher grades of society, and it is very scientific. Other processes recommended in the Vedic literature during pregnancy are also very important. To take care of the child is the primary duty of the parents because if such care is taken, society will be filled with good population to maintain the peace and prosperity of the society, country and human race."

Prayers and remembrance of our past lives while inside the womb

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There are moments when being overwhelmed by the uncertainty and difficulties of material life, we develop a sincere desire to achieve perfection in this life. For a few moments, we can see everything clearly and understand that the goal of life is to develop our devotional service to Krsna and everything else is just a distraction. Armed with this understanding, we make a firm decision to become serious in spiritual life and return home, back to Godhead in this lifetime. Unfortunately, after some time we become distracted again by the material reality around us and forget.

This same process that happens many times during our lifetimes, may also happen when a baby is inside the womb. Although life in the womb is extremely difficult and uncomfortable, there is an advantage, that is the fact the baby in the womb is not as strongly affected by the illusory nature as after being born. In other words, the influence of material illusion is attenuated while we are inside the womb since we don't have contact with the object of the senses. That's the reason Sukadeva Goswami stayed for sixteen years inside the womb, refusing to come out. He was aware that once he would come out, the illusory energy would start acting, and he was afraid of it. Only when Krsna personally assured him he would not be captured by the illusory energy, did he agree to come out.

According to Lord Kapila, in the first seven months of gestation, the brain and nervous system of the fetus are still in the process of development, and thus the child is not fully conscious. Consciousness is a symptom of the soul, and thus some level of consciousness is present in any type of body, but before the seventh month, the consciousness of a child is similar to someone sleeping. After the 7th month, the child finally awakens and finds himself in this very constricted and uncomfortable situation inside the womb.

At this point, if the soul is especially fortunate, he can remember his previous births and understand the situation he is in. The pious soul then becomes determined to become serious in this life and prays to the Lord, to free him from the uncomfortable situation inside the womb, promising that he will become a devotee after birth, while at the same time desiring to stay inside the womb to avoid being captured by the illusory energy. With such contradictory emotions, the child continues praying to the Lord, desiring to revive his original spiritual understanding.

In the 10th month, by the grace of the Lord, the child finally takes birth and becomes free to act. However, after this point, there is again the possibility of being captured by the influence of the material energy, and again becoming absorbed by the distractions of material life, first as a baby, later as a boy or girl, and so on. Although the Lord gives us all opportunities through the scriptures and association of devotees, because we have free will, there is always the possibility of making the wrong choices. This is how dangerous this material world is.

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"The living entity in this frightful condition of life, bound by seven layers of material ingredients, prays with folded hands, appealing to the Lord, who has put him in that condition.

The human soul says: I take shelter of the lotus feet of the Supreme Personality of Godhead, who appears in His various eternal forms and walks on the surface of the world. I take shelter of Him only, because He can give me relief from all fear and from Him I have received this condition of life, which is just befitting my impious activities.

I, the pure soul, appearing now bound by my activities, am lying in the womb of my mother by the arrangement of māyā. I offer my respectful obeisances unto Him who is also here with me but who is unaffected and changeless. He is unlimited, but He is perceived in the repentant heart. To Him I offer my respectful obeisances.

I am separated from the Supreme Lord because of my being in this material body, which is made of five elements, and therefore my qualities and senses are being misused, although I am essentially spiritual. Because the Supreme Personality of Godhead is transcendental to material nature and the living entities, because He is devoid of such a material body, and because He is always glorious in His spiritual qualities, I offer my obeisances unto Him.

The human soul further prays: The living entity is put under the influence of material nature and continues a hard struggle for existence on the path of repeated birth and death. This conditional life is due to his forgetfulness of his relationship with the Supreme Personality of Godhead. Therefore, without the Lord’s mercy, how can he again engage in the transcendental loving service of the Lord?

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No one other than the Supreme Personality of Godhead, as the localized Paramātmā, the partial representation of the Lord, is directing all inanimate and animate objects. He is present in the three phases of time — past, present and future. Therefore, the conditioned soul is engaged in different activities by His direction, and in order to get free from the threefold miseries of this conditional life, we have to surrender unto Him only.

Fallen into a pool of blood, stool and urine within the abdomen of his mother, his own body scorched by the mother’s gastric fire, the embodied soul, anxious to get out, counts his months and prays, “O my Lord, when shall I, a wretched soul, be released from this confinement?”

My dear Lord, by Your causeless mercy I am awakened to consciousness, although I am only ten months old. For this causeless mercy of the Supreme Personality of Godhead, the friend of all fallen souls, there is no way to express my gratitude but to pray with folded hands.

The living entity in another type of body sees only by instinct; he knows only the agreeable and disagreeable sense perceptions of that particular body. But I have a body in which I can control my senses and can understand my destination; therefore, I offer my respectful obeisances to the Supreme Personality of Godhead, by whom I have been blessed with this body and by whose grace I can see Him within and without.

Therefore, my Lord, although I am living in a terrible condition, I do not wish to depart from my mother’s abdomen to fall again into the blind well of materialistic life. Your external energy, called deva-māyā, at once captures the newly born child, and immediately false identification, which is the beginning of the cycle of continual birth and death, begins.

Therefore, without being agitated any more, I shall deliver myself from the darkness of nescience with the help of my friend, clear consciousness. Simply by keeping the lotus feet of Lord Viṣṇu in my mind, I shall be saved from entering into the wombs of many mothers for repeated birth and death." (SB 3.31.11-21)

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Does every soul pray like this while in the womb? In his Bhakti-Sandarbha (151), Srila Jiva Goswami offers some additional insight on this topic. He explains that only in one birth does the soul become fortunate enough to pray to the Lord in such a way. After praying in such a way and being born, the Lord helps him to attain devotional service and become free from material contamination.

Certainly, after being born, the soul faces the power of the illusory energy and the distraction offered by the objects of the senses, but due to his sincere prayers inside the womb, the Lord helps him to remember and find his way back to Godhead. In other words, after many lives of spiritual practice, a soul becomes pious enough to finally pray in such a way to the Lord. When this finally happens, the Lord makes sure that this soul is not forced to enter again into the womb.

This passage also tells us something about our own situation. Despite becoming again attracted to the material world, by praying to the Lord in our rare moments of sanity, we can attract the mercy of the Lord, who can help us to gradually become free from the influence of the material energy and find our way back to Godhead. Although the soul is part of the spiritual potency of the Lord, because the soul is minute, it can become entrapped in the material energy. When this happens, we need the help of the Lord to free ourselves, as He explains in the Gita (7.14): "This divine energy of Mine, consisting of the three modes of material nature, is difficult to overcome. But those who have surrendered unto Me can easily cross beyond it." Freedom from this material world thus passes through sincerely praying to the Lord, regardless of the situation we are in.

As Prabhupada confirms in his purport to verse 13: "As it is confirmed in Bhagavad-gītā, after many, many births the knowledge comes to the conditioned soul that Vāsudeva is great, He is master, and He is Lord. The individual soul is the servant, and therefore he surrenders unto Him. At that time he becomes a mahātmā, a great soul. Therefore, a fortunate living being who comes to this understanding, even within the womb of his mother, has his liberation assured."

Srila Jiva Goswami calls our attention that these verses describe two different situations: an ordinary soul, suffering in the womb like an animal, without any remembrance of his relationship with the Lord, and being immediately captured by the material energy after birth, and the fortunate soul who prays and surrender to the Lord, and is thus protected by the Lord. To explain how both situations can be simultaneously described in the same verses, he evokes the description of the pastime of Lord Varaha described earlier in the 3rd canto, where two separate appearances of the Lord are also described in the same verses.

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In his purports, Prabhupada dives more deeply into the reasons for the soul's forgetfulness of his original identity as an eternal servant of the Lord and the process for remembering. Understanding that the soul forgets due to the covering of the material energy, one could argue why have we been put into such an influence. Is that due to chance, with some souls going to the spiritual planets and others to the material universes? Would it be due to some sadism on the part of the Lord, who sends some of the souls to limitless enjoyment in Vaikunta and others to eternal suffering in the material world?

In the Bhagavad-gita (15.15) the Lord explains: "I am seated in everyone’s heart, and from Me come remembrance, knowledge and forgetfulness." One could use this passage to try to blame the Lord for our conditioning. Prabhupada however deepens our understanding by arguing that the remembrance or forgetfulness of the Lord is not random, but a direct answer to the desire of the soul. The soul has free will, and the possession of free will implies that one is free to make decisions. When one desires to serve the Lord, he is put under the care of the spiritual energy and attain a position of service to the Lord, while desiring to be an independent enjoyer puts us under the care of the material energy. The Lord has the power to send us in either direction, but He respects our free will and sends us in the direction we desire.

As Prabhupada explains: "A living entity misuses his little independence when he wants to lord it over material nature. This misuse of independence, which is called māyā, is always available, otherwise there would be no independence. Independence implies that one can use it properly or improperly. It is not static; it is dynamic. Therefore, misuse of independence is the cause of being influenced by māyā."

It's extremely difficult for any soul to become free from the influence of material energy by himself, but a soul who surrenders and sincerely prays to the Lord can be rescued very easily. We are put under the influence of material nature due to misuse of our free will, and similarly, by desiring to get out we can become free by the Lord's mercy. The understanding of our precarious situation in this material world and the desire to serve the Lord, be it in the womb or during adult life, can set us free.

Prabhupada explains this point in his purport to text 16: "To one who wants to be materially satisfied or who wants to lord it over material nature, the Lord gives the opportunity to forget His service and engage in the so-called happiness of material activities. Similarly, when one is frustrated in lording it over material nature and is very serious about getting out of this material entanglement, the Lord, from within, gives him the knowledge that he has to surrender unto Him; then there is liberation."

How is this liberation achieved? The central component is perfect spiritual knowledge. This perfect knowledge is obtained from a genuine spiritual master. The Lord is present in our hearts, and He perfectly knows our desires. We are conscious only of our own bodies and desires, but the Lord is conscious of everyone's desires. Although He is one, He is present everywhere and knows everything, therefore when we seriously desire to become free from material contamination, He directs us to a pure devotee who can help us. The two spiritual masters, the Lord inside the heart, and his pure servant on the outside act jointly to push us out of the material world, helping us to revive our Krsna Consciousness.

Both the situation of one praying to the Lord for liberation while inside the womb, or in adult life do not come by chance. The process of transmigration of the soul through the different species of life is compared to the stages of growth of a flower. The dormant consciousness of the soul is gradually developed in the different forms of animal life and becomes developed in the human form. In human form, the soul is given the opportunity to inquire about his eternal nature and gradually come to a platform of devotional service. One who takes this opportunity continues evolving further, all the way to perfection, while another who rejects this path and becomes absorbed in just satisfying the needs of the body and the desires of the mind risks falling back into the animal species.

The perils of a new birth in the material world

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In the previous passage, Lord Kapila described both the situation of the ordinary baby who just suffers in the womb and the situation of the pious baby, who prays to the Lord and thus comes under his protection. Both face similar difficulties both in the womb and outside, but there is a crucial distinction between them: The soul who is forgetful of Krsna and desires to just enjoy the material world, turning his back to the Lord is on his own, just enjoying and suffering the results of his activities under the laws of Karma, while the soul who prays to the Lord comes under his personal protection. The Lord may still allow one to face the reactions of his karma, but such reactions are filtered and provided in ways that foster one's growth, and not just as mechanical punishment, like in the case of the materialist.

Prabhupada explains this difference by the analogy of the two children living in the street, one being the son of a rich man, and the other an ordinary orphan who has no one caring for him. Even though the son of the rich man is lost, living in the street, forgetful of his parentage, his father is caring for him, and gradually trying to bring him back home. The ordinary orphan however is just struggling on his own, just surviving by whatever means he can. Similarly, when the soul prays to Krsna while in the womb, or at any point in his life, the Lord gets in his case and starts guiding him so he can find his way back home. We may forget about these prayers and become again absorbed in material life, but the Lord doesn't forget and keeps remembering us and bringing us back to the proper path. Due to this protection, our position, even while forgetful, is much better than the ordinary materialist, who is on his own. Naturally, the Lord cares for everyone, but the materialist says God doesn't exist, and thus the Lord doesn't directly participate in his life.

In these verses, Lord Kapila focuses on the materialist, showing the traps presented by the illusory energy and the result of falling victim to such allurements. For a materialist who is returning to human life after suffering in hell and the animal species, the goal in human life is to come in contact with devotees and at least start his process of devotional service, so he can have the opportunity of receiving again a human body and continuing his process of spiritual practice. As devotees, we have the duty of helping others to achieve this goal, while at the same time developing our spiritual practice and trying to finally become free from the influence of material energy.

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"Lord Kapila continued: The ten-month-old living entity has these desires even while in the womb. But while he thus extols the Lord, the wind that helps parturition propels him forth with his face turned downward so that he may be born.

Pushed downward all of a sudden by the wind, the child comes out with great trouble, head downward, breathless and deprived of memory due to severe agony.

The child thus falls on the ground, smeared with stool and blood, and plays just like a worm germinated from the stool. He loses his superior knowledge and cries under the spell of māyā.

After coming out of the abdomen, the child is given to the care of persons who are unable to understand what he wants, and thus he is nursed by such persons. Unable to refuse whatever is given to him, he falls into undesirable circumstances.

Laid down on a foul bed infested with sweat and germs, the poor child is incapable of scratching his body to get relief from his itching sensation, to say nothing of sitting up, standing or even moving.

In his helpless condition, gnats, mosquitoes, bugs and other germs bite the baby, whose skin is tender, just as smaller worms bite a big worm. The child, deprived of his wisdom, cries bitterly.

In this way, the child passes through his childhood, suffering different kinds of distress, and attains boyhood. In boyhood also he suffers pain over desires to get things he can never achieve. And thus, due to ignorance, he becomes angry and sorry.

With the growth of the body, the living entity, in order to vanquish his soul, increases his false prestige and anger and thereby creates enmity towards similarly lusty people.

By such ignorance, the living entity accepts the material body, which is made of five elements, as himself. With this misunderstanding, he accepts nonpermanent things as his own and increases his ignorance in the darkest region.

For the sake of the body, which is a source of constant trouble to him and which follows him because he is bound by ties of ignorance and fruitive activities, he performs various actions which cause him to be subjected to repeated birth and death." (SB 3.31.22-31)

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Just like we forget the difficulties we experienced in the womb, we generally don't remember the difficulties from childhood. Children experience lots of anxiety and suffering, due to neglect from their parents, difficulties in dealing with other children, unsatisfied desires, physical discomfort with the growth of teeth and other changes, and so on. Because their intelligence is not as well developed as in an adult, they suffer much more from these factors than an adult would. We often tend to romanticize childhood, painting it as an age of happiness, but it is not like that. It is a period of challenges and struggles. Even a child who has the most caring parents experiences difficulties.

The difficulties in childhood are followed by the struggles of adolescence, the anxiety over finding a romantic partner, as well as studies and work, frustrations related to not finding our place in the world, and so on. This is followed by the hard work of adult life and the discomforts and frustrations of old age. Both the devotee and the materialist have to go through these experiences, but the devotee is in a better position due to his access to transcendental knowledge. If we properly use this opportunity, we can see through these material difficulties with the eyes of transcendental knowledge, and thus gradually develop detachment to this world.

In the Bhagavad-gita (6.35), Krsna explains that although it is extremely difficult to control this mind, this can be achieved through suitable practice and detachment. The suitable practice is the process of Krsna Consciousness, while detachment is gradually developed by the cultivation of transcendental knowledge. As Krsna explains, when the mind is controlled and we continue practicing the devotional process by appropriate means, success is guaranteed. Therefore, the cultivation of transcendental knowledge is essential in all stages of the process.

The problem of bad association

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In the same way association of pure devotees is the gateway to liberation, association with materialistic people is the gateway to hell. By associating with pure devotees we tend to gradually become like them and as a result, follow their footsteps and reach the same destination. Similarly, by associating with materialistic people we gradually acquire their bad habits and follow the path they are chalking. In this 4th section, Lord Kapila elaborates on this topic, giving us details of how this process works, its results, and how we can avoid it.

"If, therefore, the living entity again associates with the path of unrighteousness, influenced by sensually minded people engaged in the pursuit of sexual enjoyment and the gratification of the palate, he again goes to hell as before.

He becomes devoid of truthfulness, cleanliness, mercy, gravity, spiritual intelligence, shyness, austerity, fame, forgiveness, control of the mind, control of the senses, fortune and all such opportunities.

One should not associate with a coarse fool who is bereft of the knowledge of self-realization and who is no more than a dancing dog in the hands of a woman.

The infatuation and bondage which accrue to a man from attachment to any other object is not as complete as that resulting from attachment to a woman or to the fellowship of men who are fond of women.

At the sight of his own daughter, Brahmā was bewildered by her charms and shamelessly ran up to her in the form of a stag when she took the form of a hind.

Amongst all kinds of living entities begotten by Brahmā, namely men, demigods and animals, none but the sage Nārāyaṇa is immune to the attraction of māyā in the form of woman.

Just try to understand the mighty strength of My māyā in the shape of woman, who by the mere movement of her eyebrows can keep even the greatest conquerors of the world under her grip.

One who aspires to reach the culmination of yoga and has realized his self by rendering service unto Me should never associate with an attractive woman, for such a woman is declared in the scripture to be the gateway to hell for the advancing devotee.

The woman, created by the Lord, is the representation of māyā, and one who associates with such māyā by accepting services must certainly know that this is the way of death, just like a blind well covered with grass.

A living entity who, as a result of attachment to a woman in his previous life, has been endowed with the form of a woman, foolishly looks upon māyā in the form of a man, her husband, as the bestower of wealth, progeny, house and other material assets.

A woman, therefore, should consider her husband, her house and her children to be the arrangement of the external energy of the Lord for her death, just as the sweet singing of the hunter is death for the deer." (SB 3.31.32-42)

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Sex life is the basic expression of our desire to enjoy matter. From this basic desire, many other desires ramify and one becomes firmly rooted into the material world. When it is said that women have nine times more sexual desire than men, this doesn't necessarily refer to carnal desire, but to this basic driving force to enjoy matter, including foods, clothes, all kinds of material comforts, social status, relationships, etc.

In the spiritual world, relationships exist centered around Krsna and the common goal of serving Him. Souls in the spiritual world enjoy millions of times more using their spiritual senses than us, but their enjoyment is centered on Krsna. In other words, in the spiritual world, everyone acts based on their eternal relationship with Krsna, and when Krsna is happy, everyone is happy. In the material world, on the other hand, we try to enjoy ourselves separately from Krsna, and this is the source of all our problems.

In the material world, relationships are centered around the gratification of the senses. Because of the covering of the false ego, we identify with the desires of the mind and try to satisfy them through the actions of the senses. Practically speaking, the original propensity of the soul to serve Krsna is replaced by service to the senses. There are different objects of the senses, like foods, smells, and different types of objects and experiences, but nothing creates an attachment as strong as sex life. Lord Kapila warns us of the dangers of associating with people who are too involved in it.

As Prabhupada explains: "Generally, people are concerned with the satisfaction of the tongue and the satisfaction of the genitals. That is material life. Material life means eat, drink, be merry and enjoy, with no concern for understanding one’s spiritual identity and the process of spiritual advancement. Since materialistic people are concerned with the tongue, belly and genitals, if anyone wants to advance in spiritual life he must be very careful about associating with such people. To associate with such materialistic men is to commit purposeful suicide in the human form of life. It is said, therefore, that an intelligent man should give up such undesirable association and should always mix with saintly persons. When he is in association with saintly persons, all his doubts about the spiritual expansion of life are eradicated, and he makes tangible progress on the path of spiritual understanding."

What is the solution then? Should we associate only with Brahmacaris? Srila Prabhupada explains:

"In these instructions of Lord Kapiladeva it is explained that not only is woman the gateway to hell for man, but man is also the gateway to hell for woman. It is a question of attachment. A man becomes attached to a woman because of her service, her beauty and many other assets, and similarly a woman becomes attached to a man for his giving her a nice place to live, ornaments, dress and children. It is a question of attachment for one another. As long as either is attached to the other for such material enjoyment, the woman is dangerous for the man, and the man is also dangerous for the woman. But if the attachment is transferred to Kṛṣṇa, both of them become Kṛṣṇa conscious, and then marriage is very nice."

"Man and woman should live together as householders in relationship with Kṛṣṇa, only for the purpose of discharging duties in the service of Kṛṣṇa. Engage the children, engage the wife, and engage the husband, all in Kṛṣṇa conscious duties, and then all these bodily or material attachments will disappear. Since the medium is Kṛṣṇa, the consciousness is pure and there is no possibility of degradation at any time."

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When this tendency to satisfy the senses is again directed to the service of Krsna, we can live happily in any position in this material world and use our senses without being degraded by them. This is the essence of the process of Karma-yoga described by Krsna in the Bhagavad-gita. Srila Prabhupada mentions that the senses of a Krsna-conscious person are like serpents with broken fangs. When the senses are engaged in the service of Krsna, they lose their potency in alluring us and instead serve as instruments for our purification. Even sex life, which is the strongest bound to this world can become instrumental in our liberation when properly engaged in Krsna Consciousness, performed inside marriage with the goal of begetting good children and then educating them in Krsna Consciousness. Family life also exists in the spiritual world. In fact, most of the personal associates of the Lord are married. The difference is that their married life is centered around the service to the Lord, instead of gratification of the senses.

For a man, the propensity to see women as objects for the satisfaction of the senses is the most formidable enemy on the path of self-realization. Lust is just like an arrow, that is constantly looking for a target. When a man has lust inside, he will be constantly attracted by different women. If he goes in this direction, he will just try to seduce one woman after another, without an end in sight, and will constantly lose his intelligence at the sight of a beautiful woman. Because all men contaminated by the material modes have this lust inside, the scriptures emphasize the allurement of women to them. As Lord Kapila mentions, even Lord Brahma became attracted, due to his work of creation, which puts him in contact with the mode of passion. As Lord Kapila mentions, only Nara-Nārāyaṇa ṛṣi are immune to it. In other passages, Srila Prabhupada adds that pure Vaishnavas like Haridasa Thakura are also immune to the allurement of women, this is possible because such pure devotees are also in the transcendental platform, just like the Lord is.

Women also face a similar allurement, seeing men as providers of the objects of the senses they desire. Women have a strong desire for psychological comfort, companionship, attention, etc. as well as material assets such as a comfortable house, money, social status, and so on, and men are seen as providers of all of that. Just as a materialistic man will tend to go from one woman to another, trying to increase his enjoyment, a materialistic woman will also tend to look for better men who can provide her with more. However, by chasing this path of sense enjoyment, a woman finds nothing apart from death.

Although these materialistic propensities are so dangerous for both, it's very hard to give it up immediately, since this requires one to be on a very high spiritual level. The solution is then offered in two stages. A person who has material desires should first practice the principles of family life in Krsna Consciousness, using his or her family life as a platform for advancing further. A man should thus train himself to see his wife not as an object of sense gratification, but as a soul to protect and engage in the service of the Lord, and similarly, a woman should see the husband not as a mere supplier of material facilities, but as a servant of the Lord she should serve and support. We can see that in both cases the spouse is seen as an object of service, and not of enjoyment. Selfless service is the antidote for lust, and in family life, service to the spouse and children, regardless of inconveniences we may face on the way, is the path to progress.

That's the essential difference between material and spiritual: material relationships are based on lust and the desire for personal sense enjoyment, while spiritual relationships are based on service. This selfless service helps us to reconnect to our original nature as servants of the Lord.

We can see that scriptures emphasize the example of chaste women such as Devahuti, Draupadi, and Sita, who would remain faithful to their husbands even in difficult situations, as well as the example of men like Kardama Muni, Priyavrata and Ambarīṣa Maharaja, who would not lose track to the goal of life, even while playing the role of exemplary husbands. Even the base tendency for sex life can be purified inside the family environment by conceiving children and educating them in Krsna Consciousness. By focusing on performing these duties, one can avoid the pitfalls of materialistic family life and advance in spiritual consciousness, as described by Srimad Prabhupada. However, to the extent one sees family life as a means for satisfying material desires, it will remain an obstacle, as described by Lord Kapila.